I went out to do some errands today, and stopped in at Michael’s before I went home.  I wanted to make a bracelet and needed a few supplies.  I had some red coral beads, but since I don’t make jewelry much anymore, I didn’t have all I needed.  I had already made two stops and this was the last thing on my list.  My back was hurting and my feet were hurting and I was hungry.  Not the best of moods to go shopping in!  But, the jewelry findings were near the door and I intended to make quick work of this stop.

But, things have a way of going off the planned path at times…and it seems to happen more often than not with me!

I heard her before I saw her…

VOICE…“Coy, Coy, COY!  You ain’t listening to me.  I said I’d call you when I got finished and that’s what I’m gonna do. ~~~~~~~

No. I ain’t even half through.  You know it takes me longer now.  ~~~~~~~  I’m going fast as I can.  Now go git ya a pizza or something”   She was on a cell phone.

And, as I rounded the findings aisle…I saw her.  [I write this description simply as information and in no way as a judgement.  I certainly don’t know know any of her backstory.  And many times circumstances dictate the way we look and feel and we may not like it but …it happens]  So, I saw her there in the midst of the aisle…blocking it with her wheelchair.  She was only half in it…the other half hung over either side…bless her heart.  Remember, no finger pointing here…but, she was a larger sized lady.  She had a 2 Liter Mountain Dew in one hand and the other was used to try and roll the wheelchair.  It was hard for her to move it with both feet on the ground.  And a large cylinder of oxygen hung from one side.  It kept falling on the floor, but I never saw her using it.  She was muttering and talking out loud and actually, I thought she must have had someone else shopping with her.  But no…she just needed to talk and it didn’t mat who listened.  “I don’t know why they don’t have teachers round here to teach you how to do this jewel making.  Makes me mad, it does.  How do I know what to do?”

The she backed up and saw me, went back, and then turned around.  UH! OH! she spied me and she headed my way.

WOMAN: ” Are you the teacher?  You look like you know what you’re looking for.”  Ha!  I hardly ever know what I’m doing…I tend to make it up as I go along!

T: ” I just know a little about it.  But, I’m  not the teacher. “  At this point, I knew I was trapped and there was no way I was going to get out of this section, much less this store, without talking to her.

And I felt guilty just as soon as I started thinking of how I could get away.  Because,  God has lain on my heart that I need to realize that the people He puts in my path are the ones He wants me to make a difference to.  Because, I may be the only witness they ever see or the only kindness they ever feel.  And, I have really tried to be mindful of that.  I was reminded of the promises I made.   And, I was ashamed of myself, because even though I was hungry and had a backache and crying feet, she was in a wheel chair.

WOMAN: ” Well, I know what I want to do, but I just can’t figure out how…see I got these stones and they came from my daughter.  She lives in NC,  ‘Cept she did manage to find time to come help me during these operations.  She shoulda stayed and took care of me longer, but she left, and me and Coy had to do it all.  If you can believe that!  She’ll call, but she don’t wanna be bothered really.  Coy’s mad at her.  But, she’s got 4 young’uns…what can she do?  Coy did allright…for an old man.”

T:  “What is it you are wanting to do with your stones?”  I really didn’t want to ask about her ‘operations’.

Woman:  “I got 6 of ’em and they is really pretty, too.  I wanna wrap ’em in wire like this.”  (she showed me a package that had a stone wrapped in silver wire)  And, I want to make me a necklace with 4 and then make earrings with 2 of them.  But how can I string them together?  They don’t have holes in them…and I don’t know how to connect them together.  It’s just a puzzle to me.”

T:  “You need to go up to the register and ask them about classes.  Maybe they have one for jewelry making.”

WOMAN:  “I done did that.  It was last week.  How do you like that?  I missed it.  MISSED IT BY ONE WEEK!  I was in the hospital having that surgery last week,  so I couldn’t make it.”

T:  “Wow, you were in the hospital last week and you’re out and about today?  You must be doing well.”

WOMAN:  “Honey, you just don’t know my husband, his name is Coy.  If he was taking care of you…you’d be getting away, too.”

T:  I laughed…“Well, most men are like that, I think.  They just don’t know what to do when someone is sick.”

WOMAN:  “Coy just gets in my way and makes it worse.  He wants to help, but he just ain’t got it in him!”

T:  “Well, it was nice of him to bring you here today.”

WOMAN:  “Hey, I been here since 9 this morning. (it was about 3 at that time)  I been up and down every aisle and looked at everything they got.  I don’t know what to do with it…but I know what they got!”

T:  “It’s a treat for me when I can take my time in a store and go up and down the aisles as slow or fast as I want.  I guess that’s the way you feel, too.”

WOMAN:  “Coy’s always got something for me to do, so I don’t get much time for myself.  He wants me right with him mostly.”

T:  Well, I hope you get your wire and beads fixed like you want.  Maybe you could take them to a jeweler and have them drilled.”

WOMAN:  “That would probably cost too much.  And, what if they broke them?  I’d be too upset.”

T: “I guess you’re right.  I think there is a way you can wrap the stones and make connecting links with wire, but I do not know how to do it.”

I wasn’t finding what I need, but spied it hanging further down the aisle…on the other side of her.  And, there was no getting past her.

T:  “Excuse me just a minute, ma’am.  I’m going to go around this next aisle and come around.  I need to see those jump rings down there.”

WOMAN:  “Ain’t no need for that.  I can drive this thing.  Give me a minute.”  And, she started shuffling her feet, turning with one hand on the wheel.  BAM! went the Mountain Dew…then BAM! went the oxygen.  (I thought to myself…“This oxygen tank’s gonna explode and I’ll be blown to smithereens and they’ll find pieces of us in paints, and some in jewelry, and some in wood and some in scrapbooking…”)  I offered to pick them up for her, but she said she could get them herself.  And she hoisted herself up and back in her chair and leaned back with all the strength she had.  She reached one and then the other.  One went next to her left hip and one next to her right.  Then she realized her oxygen cording was tangled through her legs and around her waist.

Again I offered to help, but she said she knew how to get it fixed, and she pulled out a pair of scissors and cut that oxygen cording right in two!  Well!  That’s one way!

T:  “Oh, my.  Now what will you do?  How will you get your oxygen?”  Now, I was having visions of her falling out of the chair, and gasping for breath.  I would not be able to do anything, because she didn’t have any cording.  And, she would lay there, helpless…and I would not be able to do anything but give her Mountain Dew!  “Maybe you should go ahead and give Coy a call to pick you up.”

WOMAN: ”  Oh, he’ll be here directly.  I just use this stuff when I get winded.  I’ll be fine…I got some more cord at home.”   I didn’t know if she had forgotten about letting me past her, because she began pulling beads off the shelves and matching them to each other.   “Now, these are just too pretty…don’t they look good together?”

T:  “Yes, they really do.” 

WOMAN:  ” I don’t know how much nothin’ costs here.  They ain’t no price tags nowhere.”

So, I showed her how the bags are color coded and where the prices were listed.

WOMAN:  “I’m still moveing outta the way.  Don’t think I forgot or nothin’.

T:  “That’s fine, take your time.  I’m in no hurry.”  And, I wasn’t anymore.  I had decided to let this encounter play out as it would, and see what bit of wisdom I would come away with.  I finally got to the jump rings.  And she was studying some things on the other side of the aisle.

T:  “Let me know if I can reach something for you, “  She thanked me…and the next time I turned around, she had shuffled on out of sight.  Thinking she was gone, I began to make my way to the checkout.  BAM!  I heard the oxygen hit the floor again.  I prayed to get out of that store in one piece!  Then, she came around the end of another aisle near the checkout…as if she had been waiting for me.

WOMAN:  “I just got to thinking about something my preacher said at church one time.  We are ‘sposed to be ready to talk to everyone we meet.  Cause sometimes God lets people get in our way just so we can talk to them.  You just never know when someone needs you for one thing or another.  I was just thinking about that.”

And, she went  shuffled on past me before I could answer her… down the aisle she was on and I went on to the checkout.  I was waiting in line behind 5 other customers and (like everywhere in this town) only one register was open and yet they had 4 of them!  But as I waited, what she said began tugging at me, and I wondered if there was something I had failed to notice in my hurry.  I wondered if she needed something else and I hadn’t seen it.

I left my place in line and went to look for her where I last saw her.  She wasn’t there.  I looked around that area and didn’t see her anywhere.  She couldn’t have gotten far.  I went down the end aisles looking up each one as I passed.  I could not possible over look her…so I went to the other side of the store.  I could not find her anywhere.  I thought of the restroom, but there was a sign on the door: ‘closed for cleaning’.  I thought maybe she did go to the classroom they have in store, so I checked there.  I didn’t even know what I would say to her if I found her.  I didn’t even really know why I was looking for her.  She wasn’t in the classroom.

And, I never found her.  I asked the one clerk at the register if a lady in a wheelchair had gone by.  She said she hadn’t seen ‘nothin’ but people and more people coming up to this register!’  I don’t know where she went.  I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.  I was kind to her.   What had I missed?  Or did I miss anything at all?  I was kind to her and tried to help her.  But, did she sense my hurry or disinterest?

It is hard to resign yourself to the fact that you may have missed out on an opportunity that God had planned specifically for you.  I don’t know what else I could have or should have done…but I hope and pray that I don’t forget this experience.  We can say we care about people all we want to, but words without actions mean nothing.  I hope I helped her in some small way.  Maybe she just needed someone one to notice her.  I did.  And, I won’t soon forget her.

A friend of mine made some pictures at the party and said she’d send them to me… but I think she forgot…and since I have already reminded her twice…I’m gonna let it go.  {EDIT:  I finally got them today}  So, these are just some of the extra pics we made on Saturday.  All these ladies are so dear to me, I wanted to share these, too.  I’ll start off with Joy.  Doesn’t she look pretty?  (Amazing how much we favor, isn’t it? 🙂

Here is my sweet Lucy Jane…looking just like a spring flower herself.  Danielle is her aunt.

This is Christy, daughter of Rhonda…Danielle, like-a-second-daughter to Rhonda…Kimberly, daughter in law of Rhonda, and Rhonda

This is June.  She was such a dear friend of my Mom’s, and to me all the years I can remember.  As I am doing Danielle’s wedding, she did my wedding to Don 39 years and 3 months ago.  This is one of the people I hold dearest in my heart of hearts.

This is Susanna.  We have been friends for a very long time.  And, we have wonderful memories of Mission Trips all over the country and the shenanigans that go on after the work is done.  She is currently serving as Children’s Ministry Director at another church in town, but will soon be joining her husband in Birmingham.  He is a pediatrician there, and their 3 children will all be nearby.  Dothan will be a little quieter when she’s all moved in in B’ham…cause wherever Susanna is, there is laughter and nonsense and lots of fun!  I do so love this sweet friend.  Oh, she’d be mad at me if I didn’t mention that she is a former beauty queen, as well!

Somebody was doing some tickling…..

Joy and Susanna paying close attention to something

And, this is Tina.  She is my helper, she is my right hand, she is my partner in crime, and she is the one I can always count on to come to my rescue  when I have bitten off more than I can chew….or committed to something I should have had the good sense not to…or have gotten halfway into a project and decide to stop and start another one.   She gets me.  (AND…she had a birthday yesterday…36, I think).

Trying to figure out exactly what these girls are discussing….interesting body language and expressions…

And, Patty kept trying to escape!  Caught her once out on the front porch holding 3 of our guests captive!

Then she posed with her granddaughter, Addison (my sweet Lucy Jane)…

And, then she began pestering Rhonda…

Danielle and her bridesmaids (minus one) were enjoying the beautiful weather out by the pool.

Sweet friends, dear friends, special children, young and on the verge of marriage…loved ones all.  Old friends, and friends who took a different path, new friends and friends of friends.  Friends whose lives are going just as they wish and friends dealing with problems that have brought them to their knees.  Friends with young children and friends whose children are having children of their own.  And, friends dealing with children making their way through life on unwise paths.  Friends…living the lives that are their own and ours as well…we are all so different and all so alike.  I love having them all at my home…not because of the surroundings…because a house is just that…a house.  What brings the glow, the warmth, the shine to a home are those who walk the floors and sit on the furniture, and stand at the island.  Their laughter ringing throughout fills the air with love and friendship.  Their sweet smiles bounce off the walls and land on others.  And, when they are all gone…and at last, I sit down and reflect on the day…the air is almost alive with happiness and joy.  It lingers…in the house and in my memory.  A good day.  A happy day.  A day of frienship.

You are all familiar with ‘show and tell’ day, from kindergarten, I feel sure.  At my former school, this meant to bring something to show and then tell something about it.  But, here…the lesson comes first…then the picture.

When I first went to Hawaii, I think I was 15, I bought a big piece of ‘tapa cloth’.  And it hung on my wall both at home and at college.  But, somewhere between getting married and moving and moving and moving and moving…it got lost.  Or someone threw it away…not knowing how special it was.  I have always searched for more each time I have been back, but all I could ever find was in galleries and it cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars, or it was made into some silly trinket instead of just the plain cloth.  But, when I went last year, I ran across some small pieces that were more reasonably priced and snapped up 3 pieces as quick as I could.  I kept those pieces rolled up in tissue paper while we travelled and I made it home with out any creases in them.  I then stretched then on canvas.  And, they are now very prized possessions.

The Lesson:  Tapa cloth (or simply tapa) is a bark cloth made in the islands of the Pacific Ocean, primarily in Tonga, Samoa, and Fiji.  It is made from the inner bark of paper mulberry trees or breadfruit trees, and can also be called kapa.  It was once of great importance to the islanders, being used for clothing,rugs, blankets, etc.  It was even traded with other islands, or given as gifts.  It is produced by strip long area of bark, then boiling and separating the fibers.

Then the softened fibers were pounded to make one large piece of cloth.

Several layers of these fibers would be glued together, then allowed to dry.   Traditional dyes of black and a rust-brown were used to decorate the cloth…primarily by use of stamps or stencils…with geometrical patterns of the native culture.  Each island group had its own special symbols.  These are still used today on decorative items, and often are the ‘tribal markings’ you see tattoed around the bicep or calf muscle of brave islanders!

Though strong when dry, tapa cloth would lose its strength when wet and fall apart.  Nowadays tapa is still often worn on formal occasions such as weddings and funerals. Another use is as blanket at night, or for room dividers. It is also highly prized for its decorative value and is often found used to hang on the walls as a decoration.  It is still used in ceremonial masks, and to wrap sacred objects.

Here are the small pieces that I bought…stretched and hung on the wall leading into our library.

The areas around the birds are actually a little lighter than the rest of the picture.  I am so happy with these pictures, they truly add to the beauty of the home. (I hope that doesn’t sound boastful.  I don’t mean it to be, I just love it here so much.)  I am so, so proud of the artistic eye that Adam has, and his ability to put the things he ‘sees in his mind’ onto actual paper.  This grouping delights me every time I pass it!  Thanks, Adam!

My husband told me one time that he didn’t think I’d ever rest easy until I had knocked holes in all the walls in our house and hung pictures in every blank space available. Well, of course I won’t.  What are walls for, after all?

Yesterday I had the sweet priviledge of hosting a bridal shower at my home for Danielle.  She is the daughter of my dear friend Patty.   There were 7 other hostesses who helped.  It was a sweet day for us all as we have watched Danielle grow up and have loved her since the beginning.

It was a beautiful day and our guests meandered about the house and out to the pool area during the party.  After the shower we hostesses posed for this picture.  BACK: Rhonda, Danielle, Tina, Christy…FRONT:  Tonja, Joy, Kimberly, Susanna…and Pamela was unable to attend due to illness.

Months back, sweet Danielle asked me to direct her wedding and do the decorating.  We have met together and planned this…threw it out…planned that…threw it out…then planned the other and it’s all coming together very nicely. I so love this dear girl and am so delighted to be playing a part in this wonderful time in her life.  Isn’t she a beauty?

My sweet friend Tina came over and helped me get ready on Friday and again on Saturday morning.   I don’t know if I would have been ready in time without her.  [WAIT!  Yes, I do know…I would NOT have been ready without her!  Thanks, Tina!]  We worked and reworked the table and finally, we were pleased.  This is similar to how we will decorate for the outdoor wedding……. so ‘rustic’ instead of ‘fancy’ was the style Danielle decided on.  Here are some pics of the table…

…Love birds….

….This is the ‘farrier box’ (below)  I bought while I was in Birmingham with Ian.  Works great! (A farrier box is a blacksmith’s tool box.  He used it to carry horse shoes and nails when he visited farms to shoe their horses).  I learned that from the shopkeeper…

….The mantle…and the letters ‘D’ and a ‘Z’ for Danielle and Zach…

…..I put out a few pieces of my mercury glass on the buffet…

Here is Danielle, opening a few gifts. We displayed them across the bed, so the guests could see all the wonderful things she had recieved.   Isn’t this the cutest pattern on the dishes she chose?  I suggested she just leave those for me…but, she just laughed and kept on walking!  Can you imagine?

And, here is the bride-to-be, Danielle, and her mother, Patty…

I’ll share some more on the party next post!  I’ve got a lot more photos!

Yesterday was a special day for our family.  Levi was able to participate in the Parent/Child Dedication at his church.  Suzanne and Adam attend a different Baptist Church than we do, so we went there for the service.  Suzanne’s parents and brother also attend there, so we met up with them all before the service.

All the children born in the last year were introduced to the congregation, as well as their parents

Even though Sweet Levi was up way past his bedtime…he did just fine.    But, thank goodness Adam had on a tie, because Levi was in a chewing mood and the tie fit the bill just fine.

The charge was made to the parents that they should rear their children with the teachings of the Bible as their guide.  They were encouraged to attend church and bring their children up in church.  They were charged to teach their child about God and His saving grace.  If they agreed, they said “We will.”  Then the charge was made to the congregation to be ready to assist these young families as needed with guidance,  encouragement and support.  They also said “We will.”  Then the pastor had a prayer asking God’s blessings on each child and his family and asking him to guard and protect them.  He prayed for wisdom for the parents as they raised their children in the knowledge of God.

Different denominations believe many things about infant baptism.  As Baptists, we believe that each person has to acknowledge his sins and lost condition and invite Jesus to forgive him and be the Lord of his life.  This, we believe, is the only way to eternal salvation…a personal decison between you and Jesus.  Therefore, this service was not a baptism or a christening, but rather an dedication of the child to be raised in the knowledge of God.  Some denominations have the belief that infant baptisim protects your child until he is old enough to make that decision for himself.  Baptists believe that God keeps all children safe unto Himself until they have reached their own age of accountability.   (This is in no way meant to say that you are not doing the right thing if you believe differently.  That is a personal decision and everyone has to decide for himself how best he can worship.  This is just the way we as Baptists believe.)

Then we, as the congregation, sang several children’s songs and the pastor brought a message on Godly Parenting.  It was a very nice service, and Don and I and Suzanne’s parents were very proud of our children and grandson.  We ended the evening with dinner out at a local steakhouse.  How blessed Sweet Levi is to have so many people who will love and care for him throughout his life.  He has parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, great aunts and uncles, and a great granddaddy!  As well as many friends who are as close as family. He will also have a church family that will become to mean so much to him as he matures.   These are blessings we do not take lightly.  It breaks my heart that there are so many, many children who do not have safe places to live or even safe people to care for them.  It is such a tragedy, in today’s world, that the safety and care of our children is not more of a concern.  So, we are very mindful of our blessings.

And, to Adam and Suzanne…always look to God for your guidance.  Levi came with an instruction book…the Holy Bible.  Love him, and enjoy him, and treasure him, and teach him.  Grow with him as you venture into parenting for the first time.  There’s lots of fun ahead…as well as tensions and frustrations.  But, you have plenty of help to guide you…help from above…and from both sets of your parents.  Remember, we are pros at the parenting thing, don’t you know?  Look at how well you two turned out!  Blessings, always to your new family.