WHY DO I DO IT?

“What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. I obviously need help! I realize I don’t have what it takes. I can WILL it, but I can’t DO it. I decide to do good, but I really don’t do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope.”
Romans 7: 15-19, 24 The Message

No, these are not MY words, but they could be. They could have been taken right out of my mouth. Now, lest you think I have some awful secret, and do terrible, immoral things; fear not. This, my friends, is a dietary disgrace. I need to lose weight and it’s just not happening like I want it to. I went through a weight loss program last year and lost 35 pounds. I felt so much better about myself. And I know I looked better. My husband told me enough times. But then I had to go on a prolonged round of steroids(3 months),and I gained it all back. I was starving all the time. And I ate. It seemed like I could never get filled up. So, in February, I went back on the same diet program…and all I’ve lost is 5 pounds. And I’m hardly eating anything. I have done my best to follow the program exactly, and I know it works…cause it did last year. I don’t know if the steroids have changed my body chemistry, or what. But, I don’t like it! I just stopped and got my son a hamburger and apple pie at Checkers…I got me one, too. I only ate the meat and lettuce and tomatoe….but then, I messed up big time….I ate the apple pie. I can’t believe I did it. I sabotaged myself. This is ridiculous. It is just like these verses in Romans said…they must have been written with me in mind. Just kidding…But I do know this is just how I feel. Maybe this 1 apple pie won’t make too much of a difference…or maybe it will. Just pray that I regain my willpower, and don’t go any further off the wagon. I have a trip coming up in June to Hawaii with my 2 best friends. I want to look gooood. I just hope I don’t have to do it in a bigger size. 🙂

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