I am very sad today, my friends. I am having trouble understanding life and the way things happen and why people do what they do.
As I have told you, my middle son Alex has a very serious disease which causes him to be in severe pain almost constantly. He is under the care of several doctors and sees a pain management specialist for pain control. As such, he is taking some big time pain meds. This is a very tightly controlled substance. He gets his prescriptions a month at a time, and each pill has to be accounted for. Alex is very conscious of this and is very careful of his medication. He has enough to get him to his next doctors appointment exactly, and no more. Usually, the doctor will take him off of this every year or so to give his body a break, but to do so means he has to go through withdrawal, which is a very bad thing. But this is the safest way for him to continue to take this medication. And this is the only thing that works for him.
Over the last 3 or 4 months, he has mentioned that he has seemed to be short a few pills. We chalked it up to just a mistake in counting or negligence in putting it away. But, on Monday night, as he was counting out his meds for the week [he puts it in boxes for each day a week at the time], he discovered about 20 pills are missing. That means that he would be going almost a week with no meds. And, we have wracked our brains trying to figure out what has happened. There is no way, he could have taken too much. And we know he got the proper number from the druggist when it was filled the last time. Don and Adam counted it all out to be sure. We always do. But, still 20 of this pain med is gone. And we are confused. Several people have keys to our house, family, and 2 friends. But these all know how much Alex suffers and I can not imagine that anyone who knows Alex would willingly cause him to suffer. It is possible some one else may have gotten hold of a key, and came in, but how did they get by Scooter. He is a fox terrier, and is extremely protective. No one can imagine him letting a stranger in the house. We have had the same locks for 20 years or so, so maybe we have forgotten about a key or something. Anyway, for the doctor to give Alex meds to make up for the ones he’s missing, we had to file a police report. Which is o.k., because this needs to be reported. They came and said that it probably is someone we know, who has gotten a few along and figures that since they haven’t gotten caught, it is safe to take more. Also, I have realized that a bottle of pain meds I have for my arthritis was missing last month. I thought I must have just misplaced it, because I do that quite often, but now, I’m not so sure. We have not found anything else missing, and my jewelry has been here and other valuables also. I had to take the police report to the doctor and give it to them before they could legally give Alex any more meds. But, we’ve done that now and all under control. We have also bought a safe for Alex to keep his meds in…which means he has to go into the safe three times a day to get it.
So, here I am….. angry, and hurt, and disappointed. I just can not wrap my mind around this. Who would do this to us…to Alex? I feel violated…someone has violated my home, my family, my trust. I just don’t understand. We should not have to lock up things in our house in order to properly care for our son. This is just not right. What kind of person would do this? Alex is the sweetest, kindest, most gentle person you could ever know…anyone who would willingly hurt him is vile. He suffers so much and he is only able to cope with the pain because of this medicine. He doesn’t complain and doesn’t bother anyone…in fact he is always ready to help anyone any time he can. I do not even know if I want to know who did this, because I do not think I can take it. I so hope it is someone I do not know. Our locks are being changed, but even this is expense we shouldn’t have to deal with.
So, I did not get to go with Don to Birmingham. I missed celebrating with Ian, and I missed going to the doctor with Don today. There was no way I could leave yesterday, and they both knew I had to be here. Ian had a nice birthday. Don took several of his friends out to eat and then his roommate had planned a surprise party for him when he got back home. Don’s scans showed that everything looks the same as before. So, the doctor feels good about everything. He is going to do some comparing and call us with more definitive results.
Please pray for me. My heart is broken, and I am having a hard time putting this in its proper place. I trust that God sees and knows all that happens to me and my family. I trust Him to lead us in the right direction. I know, too, that nothing happens to one of His children without going through Him first. He sees and knows and He will help us as we deal with this, but right now, it sure is hard.