Don left yesterday for a business meeting in California. Plans were for Alex to go with him. He was looking forward to it so much…Don was too. But when he got up yesterday morning, he was just too sick to travel. He showered and dressed and was all packed, but his body just would not let him go. He and Don were so disappointed.
Don had to go ahead and leave to catch his plane. What a bummer. Alex feels guilty for not being able to spend this time with Don. We had prayed that God would give him a few days of relief and a little fun…but it was not to be.
It is at times like this that I get angry. It seems so little to ask that this young man have a few days of fun. So little to ask that he get to do something that others take for granted. So little to ask for ‘normal.’ So, I’m angry. Not at God…just at life, and situations, and illness. These are the times it gets hard to keep a smile on my face, these are the times I want to hit something and cry out that “IT’S NOT FAIR!” And it’s not. But, what it is , is LIFE. And it’s the life we have been given. And I do not always like it. It’s at times like these that I feel as if I am going to fail as a mom…fail at keeping Alex’s spirits up, and fail at showing God’s strength and love…fail at finding a silver lining…fail at giving him hope.
“Because of God’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations3:22,23
Please pray for us. I know I sound really down, but I am not. Please know that I do not blame God for this. Sure I wonder why, but God is all loving and compassionate and He wants only the best for us. He continues to give us strength and sanity(*?*), I know He will never fail.