And, this was the beginning of our quest to help Adam. And, a long term relationship with Children’s Hospital. We began meeting with a series of Doctors…pediatricians, oncologists, surgeons, counselors, hematologists. I am so blessed that I had some medical knowledge…so we were not flying completely blind. And, I acquired much more knowledge than I ever wanted.

The oncologists came into Adam’s care as soon as he was out of ICU. And, this was a whole world I knew nothing about. They were following protocol from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Their research at that time indicated that removing the tumor was the only course of action in this type of cancer. Thus we began many long years of testing and waiting to see if the cancer returned. Many more 24=hour urine tests…it was not unusual to see a big carton of acid and urine in our refrigerator!
Blood work and x-rays of course…but the most horrendous and terrifying and hated was the bone marrow aspiration. The first one they did on him numbed me to the core. But for Adam, it was pure torture. I think they give some sedation now, but at the time…nothing. The first one they did, they laid him on his stomach, and proceeded to clean off a space at the base of his spine. Then they brought out the needle. Oh. My. Sweet. Lord. It was the biggest needle I had ever seen…big enough for the top to screw off and remove the core…leaving it hollow in the middle. Then the Dr. pressed the needle to his spine and leaned into it so as to push it into the center of his spine where the marrow was. This is nothing like a spinal tap where they go into the spaces between the bones…this was directly into the center of the bone. This was bad enough, but then they aspirated the marrow…and my baby screamed from a place that no one should ever have to go. And then it was over. He was clawing to get to me and I was so weak, I though I would pass out. The only bone marrow aspirations I had ever seen were done in surgery on a sedated patient. Never did I see anything like this in nursing school. I am shaking just typing this now…that horror will stay with me for ever. Don, being the good dad , wanted to be there for Adam and take some of the pressure off of me, said he would go with him for one of them. I told him no, that he really just should not, but he insisted. They picked him up off the floor after it was over and he never offered again. I would never have let any one else go, it was too gruesome. I later learned after doing some research on this procedure, that because there is such a vacuum in our bodies, when the marrow is aspirated through the needle, it feels as if everything inside of you is being sucked out through that tiny opening. Horrendous.
BUT…it brought GOOD NEWS! There was no evidence of cancer cells in the marrow! This was wonderful. We stayed in the hospital for about 2 weeks. I held up well, and was able to do everything that I needed to do for Adam. At this time in my life, I was suffering excruciating cluster migraine headaches that would sometimes last for 2-3 days. But, I did not have one the whole time we were there. We knew we were going home the next day, and that morning, I woke up with a severe migraine. I was in so much pain, I could not even walk…or even see straight. Don came to take us home, and I put Adam in the front seat with him. The Dr. gave me something to take, and I lay down in the backseat, and drifted in and out for the 4 hour trip home. I was not much better when I got home, and spent the next 2 days unable to get up. But, isn’t it amazing that I never had one while I was in the hospital? This is when family and friends took over and helped get us through these difficult days.
We began a routine of visits back to Children’s. At first weekly, then every 2 weeks, then monthly for a year, then every 2 months for another year. The next year found us going every 3 months, then every 6 months. And at over half of them they had to do another bone marrow aspiration. Can you imagine the horror of a little boy having to ride 4 hour in a car, knowing when he got there he was going to be tortured with this procedure? It mattered not how we tried to spin it, or help him forget it, or make promises for afterward. For the day before and the trip up, that was the only thing he focused on. We tried to not even let him know we were going until it was time to go, but he always could tell. My saint of a Mom would read, and sing, and hold, and tell stories, and tickle, and blow bubbles, and stand on her head….anything to keep him occupied as I drove. I could not have done it without her. God knew this and made it possible for her to be able to go with me and help me through this. She suffered as I suffered. And together, we tried to get Adam through this ordeal.
At the time Children’s was not the big, nice facility it is now. It was a small, old building, with old equipment, that never looked clean. I’m sure it was, but it didn’t feel clean, you know? I hated to go into the clinics where all the children were. Most of the parents were poor, and on welfare, and their children were always very dirty looking, as well as so sickly. The parents seemed so weary of it all…as if they could hardly go another step. Usually they had another 4 or 5 children in addition to the one with cancer. The waiting rooms were such depressing places. All the toys were broken, and the books were colored in or had the pages torn out as if no one had tried to control the children at all. It burdened my heart so. My Missions group at my church gathered books and toys several times and I would just take them with us and leave them there when we left. I still remember one little girl grabbing a book and running to her mother and saying,”Look, Mama, it’s a new one and it’s got all it’s words still inside!”. That little girl died about a year later. Now, Children’s is a beautiful facility, with all the latest equipment to treat little ones. We used to be bused over to UAB of St Vincents. I am so happy for the children that came after us.
One of the changes I tried to make during my years staying there, was to increase their awareness of the out of town patient and family. When I would stay for weeks at a time, I had no where to take a bath, we could not use the patients bath, no where to keep my clothes, no where to wash our clothes, no way to leave Adam and go to the store for supplies, etc. I met with hospital officials several times, and voiced my dissatisfaction from the point of view of a parent from out of town. I am happy to say that now there are rooms just for parent to shower, washers and dryers just for parents, sitters to stay if you need to leave, and lockers to store things you need to keep with you. Much improvement.
Adam was closely watched for 10 years. He had some precancerous cells come up on the kidney, they were removed, and never came back. He then had some to come up on the back of his neck…they were removed, never to return. All the surgery did much damage to his pancreas and he has had to have major surgery on it twice. But, he is well, he is happy, he is alive, he is married, he is a photographer, he is a Sunday school teacher, he is a Christian, he LOVES THE LORD, he is my boy…and I love him!

This is what I saw when I went to see the house yesterday. Oh, My! It almost touches the sky! I didn’t realize! I think the framework in and of itself is a beautiful thing. Look how precise each board is placed, at exactly the right angle. The look of the whole house depends on this. It amazes me how someone see this in their mind and can put it to paper and cause it to appear in real life. Probably because my mind can not see things like that. Ask me to write a song or a poem, or put together a program, and I’m your girl, but, don’t dare ask me to put wood to wood and expect it to stay! I say, “if you can’t glue it, don’t do it!”

How wonderful God is that He made us all with differing talents. He made some of us who know just exactly which plant will bloom where and what kind of light and water and fertilizer it needs. I put out a plant and if it dies I know it doesn’t go there. But, there are people who KNOW hese things. They know about zones and such. Some even attain such status as to be considered a Master Gardener!

There are those who can take a pair of scissors and cut slices of fabric into the oddest of shapes, then take them to a sewing machine and make a glorious creation worth thousands of dollars on the runway. I can still remember when I learned to thread my machine and sew a straight stitch. I was elated and felt like a real seamstress. That is still about all I can do. The bobbin thingy drives me crazy!

There are those that can put a little seed into the ground…a whole row of them actually, watch them sprout into vegetables, know exactly when to pick them, and are able to tell which one to shell and which to snap.( Aunt Marie, I really did think I had all the snaps in my pan!) Then take those beans in and cook them, adding in the perfect seasonings….serving them for supper with the perfect biscuits made from scratch….no measuring of anything! Tomorrow, taking the rest of those beans and canning them on the old stove in the kitchen to be eaten all thru the coming year. And doing the same with the peppers, and peas, and tomatoes, other things I forget. This is real cooking. And I have been so excited to find Steam Fresh Vegetables in the grocery stores lately that you just put in the microwave for a few minutes…zap it, and it’s ready…but it’s not the same.

There are those who can sit down at an instrument and become one with it. You cease to see that there are 2, you cease to see at all, you just hear the music…or rather, you feel the music. These people never have to look at the keys, they never have to worry whether a g# means 1/2 step to the left or right…they just know. It is part of their soul. They intuitivly know if the music is to be played pianoissimo or fortissimo…they FEEL it. I can play the piano, I took lessons for many years, and taught lessons for over 20 years…but I never felt that the piano and I became one. My sister, who is a superb pianist, is much closer to this than I will ever be. Our friend Pam, is there.

There are people who can actually take cars and motorcycles apart and put them back together again. All those little parts. Many, many parts. And, they HAVE to be in the right place or the vehicle will not move you. Each part does a different job and each part has many parts and they are all important and necessary. I have trouble getting my digital camera card out of the camera and into the computer and back into the camera again. I do it wrong every time!

I know this because I have seen it with my own two eyes. There are men and women who can open up your head and go into your brain to exactly the right spot and fix what is bothering you
and you can be well and whole again. They actually use a saw to cut a hole in your head! Then they glue it back, and soon all is well with you. I cannot put a bandaid on a cut with out the sticky sticking to itself before it gets on me!

Friend, God made us all different, and with different talents. It is a sad thing to me when I see that talents such as doctors or architects or lawyers are revered more highly than those with the talent for fixing your car or planting your yard or building your house. Why do we do this? Our society as a whole does it, and I think it is a shame! Personally, I think teaching should be the most highly esteemed profession….but what do I know? I’m just a teacher. Our beautiful world could not run as efficiently as it does if we did not have those who are skilled and talented in the ‘menial’ jobs. Could you fix your air conditioner when it goes out this summer? Do you know what to do when your whole front lawn gets an icky fungus? Would you know what to do with 4 hampers of peas…right now…to keep them from spoiling? Could you come and help the builders on my house…I really do want to be in by Christmas!!! 🙂

Are you in a stressed out state?……

Well it happens to all of us. Everyone has their own individual level of how much stress they can take, and how well (or not so well) they handle stress and pressure.

To determine how much mental stress a person can handle, doctors use a stress test which is made up of these three pictures. Look at each one and see what you notice about them. Don’t rush it, give each picture a full 30 seconds. It will help if you will click on each picture separately to enlarge and isolate it.



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OK…what did you notice? “Moving”, you say? You think the pictures are moving?
Are they moving fast or slow?
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WELL…they are NOT moving! No they really are not! But, you are not crazy.
You see, your brain is not able to focus on every aspect of the image, because it has too many corresponding sections, so it makes your eyes bounce back and forth trying to assimilate all of the visual data.

And it makes your brain subconsciously “frustrated”. The more the image appears to be moving, the more you can NOT handle being under a lot of stress and pressure. So, if it is moving fast, you’re not handling your stress well. If it is moving slowly, you are still in control. Whew!

It should be noted too, that people like criminals, (certainly none of my readers) and those who have very stressful jobs see the above three images as moving extremely fast, and everything is spinning crazily. Hope that’s not you. If so, you need a vacation! Most senior citizens and children see them as NOT moving at all.
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Just so you know…they DO move for me. The third one moves the most, but it still is pretty slow. Of course, I am not surprised, I’ve always known my brain was
subconsciously frustrated! 🙂 How’s yours?