This was the day Alex decided it was time for Scooter to be at rest. And, we all agreed with him that the time had come. He called our vet this morning and made the arrangements. We are so blessed to have a vet who is a godly man. He was very sensitive to Alex’s feelings, and he knew how much Scooter freaked out at going to the office. So, he suggested that he come to our house. He and one of his techs came. We all sat on the floor and put Scooter there with us…Alex, Dr. Holland, his tech, myself, Adam and Don. Bless Scooter’s heart, he was completely blind and had really become so sad. Our pastor had called this morning to give Alex encouragement and suggested he read these verses from Romans 8.
He said his theology professor in seminary said that these verses make it clear that ALL creation will be glorified.

“…I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.” Romans 8:18-21 TMB.

This was very comforting to me and to Alex. Afterwards we all prayed together, and then Scooter went to sleep. And that demon cancer can’t hurt him anymore. He is at peace.

Dr. Holland brought a casket with him, and he took care of putting Scooter into it. Then my sweet Adam took the job of digging a hole 4 feet deep. There were so many roots that had to be broken up, Don had to get the ax. But, he was not supposed to do anything like this after his surgery, so the brunt of the task fell on Adam. He worked very hard, and then carefully placed Scooter beneath a big old oak tree.

We are all spent. Alex nor I have slept much in the past few days…and especially last night. So we are ready for rest, and sweet sleep.

I know everyone is not an animal lover…and I appreciate that. But, Scooter has been much more than a pet. Alex got him right after he was first diagnosed with cerebellar atrophy. And, he has been his constant companion ever since. He has been a guardian, as well as a friend. I have always felt very comfortable leaving Alex alone because Scooter was always so in tuned to him. No one could ever go near Alex unless they cleared it with Scooter first. But, his time with us is over, and he deserves his rest. We had him for 14 years…and he was one of the family.

“Go on, sweet puppy, go on up to heaven. Find our mansion, and wait for us on the porch. We’ll all be along soon. I hear the treats in heaven are wonderful!”

During the early days of March, my youngest, Ian, had Lasik surgery on his eyes. We have used so many doctors for so many things through the years, it has become second nature to thoroughly research the doctor and his reputation and record before we decide to see them. Ian did this on his own before he had the surgery. He felt very confident that he had found the very best doctor in the Southeast to do his surgery. He had the surgery, and all went well. He is enjoying near perfect vision and is loving it! This doctor has the latest lasers and other equipment that is available, and is widely reputed to be among the best.

At the final visit Ian had with his doctor in Birmingham, he talked to him a little about Alex and the problems he has. He asked him if he thought he could do anything to possibly help him. He explained a little of the problems, and the doctor told him he would just have to review his records and see him to even venture an answer.

When we found out that Don was going up for his appointment last Monday, Ian took it upon himself to call and make Alex an appointment with the eye doctor. He then called us and said, “Get Alex ready, he’s going to Birmingham, too.” And, so they went off to the big city…3 of my 4 men.

Don called to let me know about his visit…and that he was having surgery the next morning. And then, he told me about Alex’s visit. Get ready: here comes the miracle!

When they saw the doctor, he examined Alex very thoroughly. He was astounded to find that his vision was 20/5000. This means that what the ‘normal eye’ can see at 5000 feet…Alex has to see at 20 feet. Or, to see the biggest letter on the eye chart that the normal eye can see at 20 feet…it would have to be blown up 5000 times for Alex to see it. Alex’s vision renders him legally blind. BUT…this doctor thinks that he can help him see better!!!!

He will go up on the 5th of May for extensive pre-op testing and mapping of the eye. On May 6, they will use a laser to drill tiny holes in both eyes. He will come home for 2 weeks…then, on May 20, he will have surgery under general anesthesia. They will insert special lenses into both eyes. The doctor says that he thinks it is possible he can get his vision to about 20/40. 20/40 !!!!! Can you imagine what that will be like for someone who can not even see the branches of the trees? For someone who can not see the road signs as he passes by them in a car? For someone who can not even sit on a couch and watch TV? For someone who can not tell who is walking into his door unless he hears their voice? Just the possibility of it is almost too much to even hope for.

This will not help his double vision or the nystagmus. That is part of his disease, and is due to the atrophy of the cerebellum. Nothing can be done about that, unless the Lord decides to change it. So, he will still have to wear glasses with prisms in them to correct the double vision. But now they will not have to be 3 inches thick! And, there is nothing that can be done about the nystagmus. So, he still will have to deal with those problems, but, hey…he will be able to see!

As you can imagine, he is beside himself with excitement. And, he and Pop are figuring out the time he has to wait down to the days and hours. But, this is where the story turns bittersweet…sweet Scooter has now lost his vision, and can’t see to find his way back into the house. He does fairly well inside still, but outside he is just pitiful. Our vet is out of town until Monday. But, we will be seeing him just ASAP. Alex has decided that it is time for Scooter to be at rest. The tumors are growing so big, and he doesn’t want to eat anything at all. We are praying that God will take care of this for us before Monday, and Alex will not have to.

Now…as to the second reason why I was in such need for that ice cream earlier this week. Before Alex and Don left to go to B’ham, I gave Don a list of all the dates that were full between now and May 22…I have something to do almost every, single day. I wanted to be sure that I was available so I made sure he had it IN WRITING! So, of course, what does he do????? First he schedules his surgery for the next day, and then he schedules both of the dates for Alex to be in B’ham right when I told him NOT to. What is it with men? Why can’t they get things like this right? Even when you write it down for them? I am not a happy mom about not being there for this surgery. But, Alex is so excited, he doesn’t want to delay it for even another 2 weeks. So…I have bought me a pair of big girl panties…I am wearing them…and I am dealing with it. I just can’t believe I will miss getting to see him getting to see after all these years. But, so be it.

AND…this has all played out in the Lord’s time! We have prayed, our friends have prayed, even strangers have prayed that Alex will get some help with his disease. Why has God just now chosen to answer some of our prayers? I just do not know…nor do I have to know. But, I am sure of this…God’s timing is perfect. I have dealt with sickness and waiting and ‘not knowing’ all of my life as a Mother. I have prayed many, many prayers. I have sought answers and solutions. But, God has always let me know when it was time to do something and when it was time to ‘wait’. Many times, when we have not had a clear answer as to which way to go with our boys…we have just “decided not to decide”…in other words…to wait. Sometimes it has seemed like we were waiting forever. But, as in this case, God is working even when we do not see evidence of it.

This time, he worked through Ian. It was almost an ‘out of the blue’ moment when Ian told us he was having the Lasik done. (It is hard for me to believe that he is an adult, living on his own, making his own living, and making his own decisions about his life…he does not need our approval or OK.) We were a little leery of him doing it, but he decided to go ahead, and we did feel confident in his ability to look at all sides of the situation. What if we had fussed and argued with him, and he had decided not to do it because we were against it? By him having contact with this doctor…he was able to get Alex in contact with this doctor. Don and I were not even looking for help with his eyesight at this time. We have been more concerned with helping him control the pain. We are so thankful also that God blessed Ian with a heart that wanted to share this good thing he found with his brother! And, believe me, he is almost as excited as Alex!

I tell you this with all the confidence a woman can have. God is God. He is in charge. He knows what is best for us. If we let Him guide us, we will always have reason to be thankful. He cares about each of us…as if there were only us. He hears every prayer that is prayed. He wants only good things for us. But, when the bad times come into our lives…it is He who can take it and use it for our good. He WILL see us through. He WILL bless us over and over and over. And, I think that He delights in ‘springing one on us’…when we least expect it!

Once I started writing this, I realized that this is probably going to be waaaay more than anyone wants to read at one sitting, so I am going to tell this story in 2 parts. Today is the background information. Then tomorrow comes the newest chapter.

As most of you know, my middle son, Alex, suffers from a degenerative disease called cerebellar atrophy. For some unknown reason, the cerebellum has begun to die, causing holes to develop , which prevents nerve impulses from travelling as they should. This causes him to have severe balance problems. You would think he was very drunk if you saw him walking. His disease also has an element of extreme head and neck pain…this is excruciating and never goes away. He has double vision, nystagmus, which is a constant jumping of the eye, and vision measured at 20/5000. To see anything, such as TV or computer, or a book, it must only be a few inches away from his eyes. His double vision can only be corrected for a few feet, anything of any distance is always doubled. This makes it nearly impossible to watch a movie in a theater, or see the pastor at church, of even to drive a car. We have been to doctors around the US to find some help for his vision. Because all of all the myriad of problems, help has been very hard to find.

Once, about 10 years ago, we went to Boston in search of help for the extreme pain he lives with constantly. We spent several days at Children’s Hospital in Boston, undergoing numerous tests, only to be told they had nothing new to offer us. We were sitting in the doctor’s office and he was telling us this news, and then he asked Alex if there was anything else he could help him with. Alex told him, “I guess not…unless you can help me with my vision problems.” The doctor asked him a few questions about it, and then said, “Alex, I can’t do anything, but I know someone who can, if anyone can. My best friend is the Chief of Staff at the New England Eye Institute. I don’t know if he can see you or not, but I’ll check. You will probably have to come back, because most people have to wait several months to see him.” He made the call as we were sitting there in the office. He explained the situation, and talked a minute, then hung up. Looking at Alex, he said,” Be there at 10:00 in the morning.” We changed our flight plan back to Dothan, and went to the office the next morning. He was the nicest man, and was immediately fascinated by the problems with Alex’s eyes. We saw 3 or 4 different doctors that day. Then, the medical students started coming in, the residents and the interns. The doctor explained to us just how rare it was to see eyes with the varied problems that Alex had. His nystagmus is very, very rare. He explained to us that he had only seen 2 or 3 cases in his whole career. So, he was thrilled to be able to show the students and others, because it was possible they may never see it again. And of course, we didn’t mind at all. We figure that the more doctors that see the problems, the more, HOPEFULLY, that will want to find a solution.

He was able to fix some glasses for Alex that helped him somewhat. He made one pair of glasses for him to see close up, and another pair for him to see far away. He was able to help a little more with the double vision, too. And, we worked with them over the next few years. We came to love visiting Boston, and looked forward to our visits every 2 years.

So…even though we got no help at all for the pain that Alex was experiencing…we did find some help with his vision. We thought this was the perfect example of this verse from Romans 8…Verse 28: “And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him.” See, we were very disappointed and dejected when we realized that the pain specialist couldn’t help us…but God had another plan all along. We had never even heard of the New England Eye Institute…but God had. And His plan all along was to get us to Boston, He just had a different doctor in mind to help us. Isn’t that just like Him? He took what we thought was a wasted trip, and turned it into a wonderfully helpful visit.

Just a quick note to let you sweet friends know that all is well. The surgery went fine, and the Dr. was able to remove the ‘area of concern’. Don should recover well, and be back to his normal routine in a day or four…well, you know how men are! 🙂

I am so proud of my boys for looking after their Dad so well. They took care of everything and made this Mom even prouder of them. Don and I are so blessed to have these wonderful sons. God is good!

The news from the surgery is great…BUT, I have some more news to share with you. AND, it is even better! But, it will have to wait till tomorrow. Scooter is getting sicker and sicker. I have been having to take him out every hour or so…day and night. I haven’t really slept in 3 nights! So, if you’ll just kindly wait till tomorrow to hear my other good news…I just think I’ll try to sneak in a few more hours of sleep!

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, your sweet concern, and your prayers to our Father. You bless me, and fill my heart with gratitude for your friendship. God bless you!

Seems as if I am always coming to you, my friends, for prayer, doesn’t it? I am so blessed to have the kind of friends who are always at the ready!

My DH is in Birmingham. He went to see a new Dr. on the advice of his Dr.here. This came immediately after a routine colonoscopy last week. He and Alex went up on Sunday because Alex had an appt. with a new eye Dr. on Mon afternoon. Anyway…I stayed here with Scooter, and to be at work, due to upcoming programs.

This morning at 10:00, Don will be having surgery in Birmingham. He and Alex are in a motel attached to the hospital. Ian starts his new job in Birmingham today, so he is not available till this evening. That leaves Alex to see about Don before and after surgery. He is very happy to do this, but whether he is able is another thing. I should be there, but I am not. I am here. Not that I couldn’t go. My boss, B, would send me off without a question. But, Alex has begged me not to board Scooter. He is very near leaving us and needs to be with one of us.

So, now you understand about the ice cream. 🙂

And, such, is the life I have lived since marriage 34 years ago. Always torn, needing to be in 2 or 3 places at once. What to do? Where to go?

This I know. Whether I am there or not, my sweet Lord is. He will stand next to the Dr. while he operates. He will whisper in his ear as he looks after Don. He will guide the hands of the nurses as they minister to him. He will be there in my stead. He will be with Alex while he is in a strange place, and be his eyes to guide him as he tries to navigate in a hospital he is not familiar with. He will soothe Scooter as I am at work today. And, He will give me peace as I go about the things I must do. How do I know all this? All I had to do was ask!