Today I have been blessed.
You know, there are dreams that we all have. I am not speaking of dreams that come to you while you are asleep…even though you may dream about your ‘dream’. Sometimes we just make a wish in passing…and those are real, to be sure. But, a dream is a deep longing for something you desire to take place. Disney says, “a dream is a wish your heart makes.” Mr Webster says a dream is “a strongly desired goal or purpose.” Dictionary.com defines it this way “to form in the imagination.” And, my favorite, from the Cambridge English Language Dictionary, “something you want to happen very much but it is not likely ” and “the very best you can imagine.”
Surprisingly, there were many more dictionaries and many more ways of wording the answer to ‘What Is A Dream?” I think we all have wishes, but dreams are deeper, somehow. A wish can be fleeting, but a dream requires thinking and imagining, and hoping and praying. Because, as Disney said, this wish is from the very heart of you.
Since I was in college, I have had a longing for children. I have wanted to teach them and learn from them. I have wanted to learn the very best methods of teaching. I wanted to be the kind of teacher who had an impact on children. I have some of the best training both in college and denominational through the Baptist Church, and have been fortunate to work with children in some capacity up until I retired.
Through the years, there have been students who have captured a part of my heart that will forever be theirs. And, I have treasured the wonky pictures, and the wilted flowers from the playground (weeds, really), the sticky piece of candy held tightly in a grubby fist, and the hugs that nearly choked me, and the timid ones that didn’t quite reach all the way round my neck. And, the older I got, the more precious these things became. I knew a time would come for me to step away and let someone more energetic and younger take my place. And, that is the correct order of things.
Along then is when the thought of a grandchild really became a dream. I loved being with my own 3 boys and playing and teaching them, but these days they are all too old for me to read to, and they surely wouldn’t fit in my lap anymore. They weren’t into fingerpaint…it could ruin those Brooks Brothers Shirts. They had no time for swinging…slowly cutting and eating an apple…or watching a tiny bug scurry around on his journey. But, a grandchild would. A grandchild would love all those things and more. And a DIL would welcome the help!
My friend, Patty, has been and is, kind enough to share her grandchild, Lucy Jane, with me. We have had many fun adventures together. We have painted and we have been swimming. We have made Christmas ornaments and we have decorated my Little House(potting shed) front porch several times. She has very carefully learned to make pretty good pictures with my camera. And, now she is helping me as I care for Levi. I hold dear to my heart the times I spend with her.
My sister, Joy, was blessed with a sweet angel boy, John Thomas. He has been a delight to have in our family. He came at a time our family needed healing from the loss of Mom. Oh, the joy and laughter he has brought to us! He is walking everywhere, when he’s not running, and he loves his Uncle Adam. They play very well together. (You can draw your own conclusions from that last statement!)
But, I wanted my own. And, NOW was preferable to me! Fertility issues came into play, and having another child in the family looked very doubtful. It was our desire. It was our hope. It was our prayer. It was our dream. But, months went by, and there was no good news in that department.
I visited the Lifeway bookstore one day, and found myself naturally drawn to the children’s books and music. I laughed at myself. My children were grown, I had retired from teaching, and I had no grandchildren. This was not the area for me to be in. As I left the department, a CD literally jumped off the shelf, hit me in the head, shook me by the shoulders and said, “Buy me, you crazy lady! Buy me right now!!!” Well, I was shocked-as you can imagine! No one else seemed to have heard all the commotion. I looked at the CD in my hand.
I tried to put it back, but it was as if my hand would not go in that direction. And so, even though it was not in my budget that day…I knew that CD had to be mine. And so it was.
I came home and loaded it into my computer and lay back to listen. Oh. My. Goodness. The most beautiful songs…the most beautiful voices. As I listened, I was moved to tears. These were lullabies of the most precious kind. But, not your typical lullabies…these were full of truth. They were full of the promises of God. They sang of the true character of God and how He loves us all- young and old. And, as I lay there and listened, an image formed in my mind of a little boy, sleeping peacefully in his crib, while this music played softly near him.
Today…at around 12:30 pm, my dream came true.
There sleeps that sweet angel boy, tired from playing with Lucy Jane, a tummy full of green beans and peaches and a bottle to go with. And, over on the side, is my old CD player that I kept on my desk at the preschool, and the music coming out of it is as beautiful as any I would ever desire sweet Levi to hear. My dream, my prayer, was answered today. Years after I prayed it…but right on time!
These are the words to the title song on the album…………SING OVER ME.…..BY Bethany Dillon
I live in the wonder of Your love
You rise like the sun in my heart
Even when the night draws near to me
There You are
I will wade in the water of mercy
I will walk in the light of Your will
Whatever should come against me
Teach me to be still
As you Sing over me
Draw me close to rest in Your peace
Sing over me
Sing of Your unending faithfulness
That knows no doubt or fear
In the face of all that I don’t know yet
Remind me of who You are
You are mighty
You will save
Rejoice over me with singing
You will quiet
By Your love
Glory over me with singing
[available on Amazon and Christian book stores]
"For the Lord your God is living among you.He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17