I never was a “great” student. I did fine in most classes, but some things, like anything to do with numbers, would pass a few miles over my head. Then when they began saying that numbers equalled letters…I was beyond confused. I got out of high school doing the very least amount of math I could get away with.

I met Don in high school. He was 2 years ahead of me. And, when he finished, he went off to college. We continued to date each other as well as others. When I completed my high school days, I decided to go to college based solely on the fact that Donald was there. It was certainly not for any desire to further my education. To do that would require working with numbers, and those were things I wanted to stay far away from. Well, I managed to get into the same university as him, but what would I declare as a major? I had made plans for my major long ago. They did not include higher education, or numbers. They did include a marriage license and many babies. A full and rewarding career. But, these people who were counseling me , were saying I had to say what kind of degree I wanted to get. So, based solely on the amount of math required…I chose early childhood education. I always enjoyed working with children. And since I wanted to raise a kindergarten, that became my declared major.

My first 2 years passed, and I found I actually enjoyed these classes, and since I was at a Baptist University, there were also religion and Bible classes. Very interesting and thought provoking. Since I had taken 10 years of piano lessons while growing up, I decided I would continue studying that also. I signed up for private lessons through the school, and continued to study piano.

Don and I married, and continued going to school; he working a part time job, and parents helping with the bills. Somewhere in the midst of this, I began feeling an intense desire to become a nurse. Where, pray tell, did this come from? I had never even considered nursing as something I was even remotely interested in. But, the feeling continued, and soon, it became clear to me that this was something I had to do. At this point in my life, I did not recognize that this could be the leading of the Holy Spirit. I was a Christian, and had been raised in church, but not much beyond that. And, so, I dropped out of college and enrolled in nursing school. I loved it from the very beginning. It was challenging and exciting…and I was good at it. The things that would gross out the other students were fascinating to me. I gave great shots, and was asked for by name many times. One man who had to get a series of rabies shots in the abdomen, wouldn’t let anyone else come near him with a needle..and I was still a student! Don graduated and in a few months I graduated. We then moved back home to begin our grown-up lives. He got a job and I went to work at one of the hospitals here.
I worked for about 8 months, and discovered I was pregnant. I worked until I was 6 months along, and then quit on advice from my DR. Soon Adam was born and life was good. This is what I longed to do…be a mother. (I wasn’t so sure, though, when the first time I changed his diaper…he peed in my face!) I quickly learned how to avoid that! We decided I would not go back to work, but would stay at home to raise Adam. Now, with my years of piano training here and at college, I was able to teach piano lessons. So, I began doing this in the afternoons, and it became quite profitable. I ended up teaching in my home for about 20 years. And, I thought my nursing career was over. HAH!
When Adam was 3, we found out he had a malignant tumor…my baby had cancer! (More on his story in a later post). Because of my nursing experience, I was allowed to stay with him in ICU, I was able to do much of his care, and most of all…I was not frightened by all that comes with cancer. I had studied this, I was familiar. I understood what the Dr. were saying and was able to help the rest of our family understand better. Because this was a long illness with much follow up and eventually 6 major operations, my skills were used often.

Six years later, we had a second son, Alex. Adam’s treatment was still on going, so I ended up leaving my new baby with my sister for a month at a time to be with Adam in the hospital. But, Alex was healthy, and Adam’s visits were slowing down. Things seemed to be better and we were looking forward to a ‘normal’ life soon. When Alex turned 1, I discovered I was pregnant again. Surprise! But, we were happy and excited to welcome another child.

Ian arrived and when I saw him in the delivery room, I went into shock. Part of his face was missing…what was going on here? This was not supposed to happen. I had already had 1 ill child…I shouldn’t have another one. Well, the fact is, I did. And trying to care for him started immediately. Trying to get him to eat, trying to prevent choking, trying to find a doctor to fix this…just trying to get info…it was never ending. He took constant attention from day 1. Fortunately, I had the contacts to find the best treatment for Ian. We travelled to North Carolina, and began a 20 year association with the hospital and Dr. at UNC. Daily, I used my nurses training to take care of this little boy. When he was 6 months old, he went limp in my arms one morning. I recognized very quickly that he was in major distress and rushed him to the hospital. We discovered he had a heart condition called PAT, for which he had to be on meds and has had 2 operations. 10 facial and orthodontia surgeries later, he is finally finished with treatment. I have been able to go into surgery with him, take out stitches, do after surgery care, stay in ICU with him. And, I have learned much more than I ever cared to now about cleft lip and palate. When Ian was in kindergarten, I was offered a job at a private Christian preschool, as a music teacher. I quickly fell in love with teaching. And all was fairly smooth for a few years. Adam was fine now, and Ian was having some treatment all along.

When Alex was 13, we discovered that he had a degenerative brain disease. He suffers great pain, loss of balance, uneven walking, loss of most vision, and other complications. So again, my nursing skills are called into play. As, we have not found a treatment for Alex, he’s 26 now, I am again using my nursing every day. Because of an understanding boss and flexible teachers, I have been able to continue to work mornings at the preschool. I am blessed to be able to do this work I love.

So, I say all that to say this. I had no idea what was ahead of me when I went off to college years ago, but God did. I had no thoughts of being a nurse, but God did. I had no idea my children would all suffer severe and ongoing illness, but God did. I didn’t know how to prepare for all that was to come, but God did. He knew…and He spoke to my Spirit and put in that desire for me to become a nurse. I thought it was so strange that I should want to do this, but God didn’t. I had no idea that I would be good at nursing, but God did. I did not know what kind of future I would have in my profession, but God knew that I would have 3 very important patients. I didn’t know enough to even realize that God was leading and directing my life, but I know it now. He put me where I needed to be so I could do what I needed to so. How great is our God! How kind and compassionate is He. How like God to give this young mother the skills I needed to deal with her children.

We have had and are having a wonderful life. God not only prepared me to deal with illness, but He has provided Donald with a job that supplies our needs. As you can imagine, medical expenses have been staggering, but we have never had to worry about paying for them. As a matter of fact, Don left his first job about 1 month before we discovered Adam was ill. He began a new job and the insurance was to pick up in a matter of days..it turned out to be weeks…his insurance was activated less than a week before Adam’s tumor was discovered. God knew all about it. Without a doubt, God has provided a job for me at my school. It has given me a chance to be away for a few hours, and has provided a creative outlet for me as well. I can not imagine not being able to use my talents in a productive way. And, I must say, I could never work for a more understanding boss or fellow teachers. It is a gift from God. And, they NEVER ask me to use big numbers! Just the basics!!:)

As I have become a wiser person and grown in my faith, I can see just how wondrously God has orchestrated my life. And I didn’t even ask Him to! But, as a child, I did ask Him to be my Savior. I belonged to Him, and He took control of my life and led me in the right direction. His direction is always perfect. He will lead, if we will just follow!

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“In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

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And this I know is true!

This is my story…and I’m sticking to it!

Life continued with our family…highs and lows…ups and downs…sickness and health…and we prospered. Not just monetarily, but in ways that really matter…education, strength, wisdom, relationships with God. Not all the times were good…some were gut wrenching. But the family stayed the family, and we worked together, and still do. Don and I are still very opposite, but through the years, we’ve learned to appreciate each other’s strengths.

About 6 years ago, we started to remodel our house. We had added on a bedroom and a garage in earlier years, but it was time to redo the kitchen and update appliances. We were adding a sunroom also. But, before we got finished, Don began to talk about selling our house and building another. This had always been my dream. I had built it a hundred times in my head, changed the plans, rebuilt it, furnished it, etc. So, with that in mind, we pulled back on the kitchen remodel, finished out the sunroom, painted and changed the carpet. And I was fine with that because, we were going to build a new house. The plan was to get it in shape to sell. We began to look at plans, and plans, and more plans. Finally we found a set we both loved. Spent $3000.00 on that set of plans, we did. Took them to a draftsmen to change them around a little bit, and began looking for a lot. Don, in charge of all things financial, began to calculate the costs of it all, and slowly started to think that maybe since our house was nearly paid for, it would be wiser for us to stay put for a while. 3 boys…college…medical expenses, life. I was not a happy camper, but I knew he was right. Oh, but that ‘build our own house’ switch had been flipped, and it would be very hard to turn it off! So, he decided that if we could buy a ready built house, it would be more cost efficient. OK…I could do that. So, we began looking for houses. There were several things that were on our list of ‘must haves’. We wanted a library, I wanted a studio, and most importantly, we wanted a place for Alex…his own apartment…separate, but close enough for us to be available for him if he needed us. Don found one listed in the newspaper and we met a realtor there and looked at the house. It was on a street I had never even seen before. Loved the location…but the house…not so sure. We returned the next day, and looked again. It was then we spied the empty lot across the street. A fully wooded lot…lots of hardwoods…just what we wanted. Don decided we needed to own this lot. So, that’s what we did. We bought the lot. Now the realtor we bought the lot from, Carolyn, became a tireless helper in our quest to move on. Don, told her that even though we bought the lot, he was still open to moving into a ready built house if we found the right one. So began our 3 year involvement with her. Bless her heart, she showed us every single house in our city that even came close to meeting our requirements. We looked and kept looking. Until I said NO MORE. I am through. And I was. And we dropped the whole ‘house’ thing for a while. Then one day, about 6 months later, Don said, “Let’s make a list of what we want in a house.” Here we go again. We made our list..Don typed it up all official looking, and made an appointment with an architect. We went to see him, and he said, Yes, he could build us a house just like we wanted, but he was tied up for a year. Don said, we would wait. And we did. Last summer, we began working on our plans, all new plans, and met through the fall and winter. Right before Christmas, he told me that all was on track, I could plan to be in my new house by next Christmas! Joy! Jubilation!
And then, nothing…no word from him until the middle of February. I was about to come unglued. “I’m gonna call and see whst is going on,” I said “Do not call, be patient,” Don said. So I didn’t, but I sure wanted to. “Well, you call then,”I said. “No need to, he’ll call when he is ready.” he said. Finally Bill calls and we set up an appt for last Monday. When we got there, a builder was meeting with us. “When can you start?” I said. “Tomorrow!”, he says. And, friends, the blue birds came out of the trees and carried a little banner in their beaks that said, “O HAPPY DAY!” And all was right in the world. Bill likes working with this builder, so Don asked him to give us a price. We left… with no plans to start building…and the birds went back into the trees and rolled up their little banner. “WAIT” This, is one of the hardest words in the English language for me. But, I had no other choice. Don had to go out of town on Friday. Bill called him while he was away and said, “Mike (the builder) wants to start Monday…is that OK?” Don calls me, and says, “Do you think this is what we need to do?” People…I have talked and planned and hoped and lost hope and trekked through every house that has been for sale in our town for the past 3 years, and planned plans, and drew up plans, and finalized plans, and most of all WAITED…WAITED…WAITED! “Tell him OK, Don, just tell him OK,” I said. And so, he made the call…and told them OK…and on Monday…we started building our new house! “LOOK UP!….Here come the blue birds with their banner again!” “O HAPPY DAY!”

And honestly, this wait has not concerned Donald one little bit. He has not been in a hurry. His philosophy is that with God in control of our lives…everything happens right on schedule…when the time is right…and not before. And, that is true. Even with all the drama, we have both prayed long and hard about this. We truly want our wishes to line up with God’s plans for us. This home will be dedicated to His glory and goodness.

And perhaps when God put Donald and I together 35 years ago,’till death do us part’, He knew that without me pushing Don, things would take forever to get done…and with him holding me back…they would be done in the proper time. And the way that I have it all figured, that is what marriage is all about. Cue those blue birds again! Oh, and say a prayer we make it through this next year…intact!

And so, with God’s help, we raised our family. Living out the struggles of every day life…along with dealing with 3 acutely ill boys. We tended to balance each other out very well. We innately knew when the other’s method was the one to follow…and we would let them take the lead. In the times I was more knowledgeable, I would lead. In the times when thinking and planning were the most important, he would lead. Which is the way I think it should be. Because God was so gracious to allow me to complete nursing school before we had children, I was usually in charge of medical matters. The myriad of things that everyday life entails…house, cars, insurance, bill paying….those were all handled by Don.

To share a little bit of the reality of everyday life with the Owens’…When I had my first kidney stone…I knew nothing more than the fact that something inside of me was running rampant and wreaking havoc and coming nigh on to causing me to scream bloody murder and alert everyone within the city limits. Don calmly watched this agonizing display of raw emotion, and encouraged me to take an aspirin and come sit on the couch with him so he could RUB MY BACK. He still does not know how close he came that evening to losing quite a few of his marbles. When I finally convinced him that I was in need of medical help…NOW!!…he went to the bedroom to get ready. I waited and waited and waited. Finally, I sent Adam to see what was holding him up. People….he was in the shower! Now, I had been living with this man for over 20 years by now…and this I knew. He NEVER takes less than a 20 minute shower. NEVER.
Not even if his wife is in labor and waiting to go to the hospital to deliver their child. Because we all know how important it is for a new father to be clean shaven and smelling good when he ‘helps’ his wife deliver this bundle of joy. You know…first impressions and all. Anyway…Back to the ‘stone story.’ I hated the thoughts of dying right in the middle of our great room….but we were surely headed in that direction. Now, I was mad, as well as near death. I told Adam…17 at the time…to help me get in his car. “Mom. you can’t drive…you are hurting too bad.” “I am not going to drive…YOU are!”I shouted through the pain. “You mean you are not going to wait for Daddy?” “If I wait for Daddy, you are going to be raised by a single parent! Let’s go!” And we did. By the time Don was finished and was ready to go, I was already being hooked up to an IV pushing glorious drugs into my system. When Don got there, I told him I was sorry, but we had to start the party without him. They ended up doing surgery the next day. And now, if I even mention ‘kidney stone’ he goes and gets the car warmed up and headed in the direction of the nearest hospital. Smart man!
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Come on back…part 3 will tell you where I’m going with these posts!

As we have covered in previous posts, and as those of you who know me will attest, I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON. When I have a great idea, which, for the record, is quite often,(in my humble opinion), I want to run with it….RIGHT THEN. Why wait? Good idea? Just go ahead and do it? No reason to think or talk or plan it to death…just GO! Now, in all honestly, I have no problem living my life this way….but, in reality…it has the possibility of getting a body in deep do-do. I am perfectly happy, then, to find my way out of the stink, and take a new path. And another, if need be. However, by then I can be in so deep, it is kinda hard to see which way to go. That is the point at which I will call for reinforcements…because what are reinforcements for, anyway, except to reinforce my original great idea!

God, indeed, has a sense of humor. Otherwise, why would He have brought my DH and I together…to live as one, til death do us part? There is no part of my spirit that is in anyway remotely like DH. Where I am loud…he us quiet. Where I am a doer…he is a thinker. Where I am patience challenged…he is a brother to Job. Where I am plunge ahead and get it done…he is think about it, make a plan, write it down, research all the facts, study them…let them marinate in your mind for a while…weeks, month…years. Then when he finds peace about the situation and revels in that for a season…then and only then go ahead and do it!

Now, I have to say this, because I do not want to leave the wrong impression. He rarely makes a mistake. How could he? Every scenario under God’s great sky has been considered. And I mean EVERY. POSSIBLE. SCENARIO. If you ever have an hour or ten to kill, ask him a question about a subject he has been thinking on. He can look at a situation more ways than you could ever imagine. And, his delight is in sharing this wisdom with you. And, he is mostly right, but a body has to listen for such..a..looooooong..time. Raising 3 boys, and all the fun and frivolity that entails, would frequently call for a time of discipline with Dad when he got home. Don firmly believed, as did I, that it was always important that the boys knew exactly WHY the correction was necessary before said correction actually took place. Now, friends, this was something I could cover in four sentences. 1.’Do you know what you did wrong?’…2.’What should you have done?’…3.’What will you do next time?’…4.’Bend over’. Commence with correction. Be done with it, and let’s all get happy again. Total time spent on the unpleasantness…5 minutes…depending on how many boys were involved. With DH in charge, the whole recollection/teaching/discussion/correction process could take an hour or longer. The boys used to say, “Daddy, please just go ahead and spank me…I deserve it…let’s just don’t talk about it.” This wouldn’t work, however, because Don had already been thinking of the ‘words of wisdom’ that the situation called for, and he felt led to share them all…one by one…for as long as it took for he and the ‘boy of the moment’ to see eye to eye. And, again, in the light of full disclosure…when Don finished up this sometimes nightly ritual, he and his little men were in one accord and peace reigned in the kingdom.
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Come back for Part 2…tomorrow. This really is leading somewhere…..