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Tonja's Gatherings - A Christian Blogger from Dothan, AL
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Family, Friends, General, Remembering

THE GIFT…THE GIVER…THE GIVING…part 1

January 3, 2011 by tonja 10 Comments

When I think back through my childhood, I can’t recall many gifts that I received.  I know we always had lots of things to open on Christmas.  But, I can not recall any of them.  Except the year I got a bicycle.  And, I heard them bringing it in the house after I should have been asleep.  This had to be about 4th grade.  I spent all Christmas Day learning to ride it.  I don’t remember any birthday presents either.  But, I do remember birthday parties.  Just none of the gifts made an impression on me…except for one.

There were several families, especially the J’s and the J’s who had children around our ages, who lived in our neighborhood.  Things were so different then.  We could have races down the street with the hill…over and over and over and never worry about cars.  And, there was the flat street further over.  There were also some other children who lived around the area who played with us too, but we were closest with the J’s and the J’s.    On this particular day, all the kids were over 2 streets from our house.   Joy and I could not go 2 streets over unless Mom or some adult that she deemed responsible was with us.   Lydia and Angela and another girl all had skates, and they were skating on the flat street. Now, Joy would push the envelope ALLLLLL the time, but me…being the older and wiser sister…would always try to pull her back onto the straight and narrow.   She said we could sneak over there and see them skate and get back home while Mama was ironing.  No, too risky.  Paths of unrighteousness, I tell you.  We (I) asked Mom and she said she would walk over there with us.   Mrs. L and Mrs. J were already there.  These were the mother of Lydia and Angela…who had the coveted skates.

Now, I’m not sure why we wanted to go over there since we had no skates.  Probably Joy’s idea.  But there we were.  So they were having the time of their lives skating one way and then the next.  Skating up and down.  Skating alone and holding hands.  And, laughing all the time.  And, there Joy and I sat, on the curb, head in hands and elbows on knees.  Friends, I was sinning.  I know I was.  Cause I was coveting.  I wanted those skate so bad.  And, Lydia and Angela had the nerve to wave every time they whizzed by on those silver wheels.  I wanted THEIR skates.  I wanted them to jump off their feet and land on mine.  So that was probably another sin right there.  Yes, Mam.  I wanted the skates to be mine and for them not to have any!  It just wasn’t fair!

Oh, I could just picture myself.  I’d run home and change into my tights and short flippy skirt…and the cute stretchy headband I had just gotten.  Then I would sit down…very ladylike…with legs leaning to one side .  Not one leg over here and another over there for the whole world to see your panties and give your mother a heart attack because you would forever be a girl of loose morals and it all started that day in the 3rd grade!  OK, then!  I would slide that bar tight to the sides of my black and white oxfords and then lock it into place with my key.  My skate key!  Oh, that wonderful key!  The key that so many of the girls wore around their neck.  Even to school or when riding bikes.  That heavy grey metal key hung round their neck,  shouting, “See me! I’m a key! A wonderful, beautiful skate key!  This darling girl who has it around her neck owns my skates.   And, you don’t have any!  But, she does and she is the coolest girl ever.”  At least that’s what it sounded like to me.  They just looked dumb.  And, I……I wanted to look just like that!  Add sin #3..wishing a friend to be unhappy so I could be happy.  Surely the Lord covered that in the 1o Rules for Adults and Children.  I would have used a pretty cord, too, instead of that ball chain!

Well, finally Mrs L  called Lydia over and told her that she needed to share her skates and let me have a turn.  Well, of course she should!   But, that was not exactly what Lydia had in mind for this warm spring afternoon.  No, taking off her skates so I could use them while she sat and watched was not a fun thought.  For her.  But, it was like the angels singing The Hallelujah Chorus to me,  I jumped up and forgot all about the tights and flippy skirt.  I just wanted to glide  down the street…wind whipping my hair…key around my neck.  Well it took two more warnings and the threat of Mrs L  taking those skates and throwing them in the dumpster with the dirty and the rats and roaches.  Lydia slammed her little fanny down on the side walk curb and jerked those skates off her feet.  Her arms were folded across her chest and little puffs of smoke were coming out of her ears.  So, I carefully picked up them up and sat down and tried to fit the skate onto my shoe.  But, alas, I needed the key.    (YEAH!!!)   I sure didn’t want to ask for it.  But, I forced myself.  I said in my best friend voice, ” Lydia, can I use the key, please?”  And, y’all, she took it off and chunked it in my direction.  Her mother happened to be between she and I, and the key came down…oh it did!..it came down right on her Mama’s head!  And y’all again, if looks could punish, she would still be ‘wearing her out’ while she danced around and cried bloody murder.  Mrs. L remembered then that she was a Christian setting an example for the little children, and handed the key to me and said, “Here you go, shug.  Now you take a ride on those skates.”  And, she looked over at Lydia and bored 2 holes right through her head with just her eyes!

Somehow the fun was fast slipping away.  I didn’t even want to try them out now.  I looked over at Mama and she told me to try them out once…up the street and down…and then give them back.  So, that’s what I did.  I’m sure I looked divine, but I didn’t even care.  They weren’t my skates, and the Lydia did not want me to wear them.  The fun I thought it would be was gone.  So, I came back to the curb and used the wonderful, magical key to take them off.  I sat them down, side by side, very neatly, and handed the key to Mrs. L.   And, I said “thank you”.  She told me she was sorry Lydia had acted like that.  And, Lydia was just sitting there, arms folded, shooting daggers at anyone and everyone.  Mrs. J called Angela over and told her to let Joy have a turn now, but, it was not to be.  Joy’s feet were just too small.  So, Angela asked me if I wanted a turn, but I said I didn’t.

Then, my Mama did a very strange thing.  She asked Mrs. L if she knew Mr O’s phone number at work.  And, she told her what it was.  Mom asked Mrs. J and Mrs.L if they would watch us for a minute and could she go to Mrs. Lessie’s house and use her phone?  (That was the closest house to where we were).  Mrs. L told her to hurry.  And, off Mom ran on some mission.  Lydia got her skates back and off she went to catch up with Angela.  And, Joy and I sat and watched.  In a little bit, Mom came back.  I thought for sure she would say we had to go.  I was hoping she’d say we had to go.  But, no, she sat down and went back to talking to the other mothers.  And, Joy and I sat and thought wrong thoughts because we did not have any skates and they would not share.  I feel quite certain that I may have said something unkind to Joy for getting us into this mess.    And, the ladies talked and we sat and they talked and we sat.  The Mothers were enjoying their chat, and the girls were enjoying the skating.  And, we were sitting on the curb like a doofus and her sister.  I swore (another sin) that if I ever got home, I would never come back and watch them skate ever again in my whole entire life.

In about 30 minutes or so, we saw Mr. O drive into his driveway, coming home from work.  He worked at Sears.  He got out and went into the house and in a few minutes, he came out where the Mothers were sitting and handed the package to Mom.  He said, “I was able to get your package…the only one left.”  Mother told him thank-you, and that she would send Tonja Lynn (me)  over to their house in a little bit with a check.  Now, maybe we could go home.  Mom called me to come over where she was and said, “I think you will find something in here that you will like.”  And, she gave me the brown Sears bag.  I took it and reached inside.  There was a box inside and I pulled it out.  You know what it was, don’t you?

I remember jumping around like  I’d gotten into a swarm of bees and hugging my Mama again and again. Joy was agast!  Where were hers?  But, she didn’t say anything.  Mom and Pop had taught us from a very early age that we would not always get the same things.  One of us may get something we needed, but it could be the other one next.  It was based on the situation.  And, we also learned it was in our best interest not to question this decision our parents made.  And, besides, it was working pretty well in my favor, at the moment!

 I can see myself sitting on the curb and fitting them to my shoes.  Mr. O  helped.  But, that’s it.  I do not remember skating with them.  Or skating along with my friends.  I don’t remember ever using them at all.   Though I am sure I did!The memory is of the gift.  Oh! they were shiny! And, no scratches on the wheels.  And, there it was….the KEY!  I was a happy girl.  The blue birds of happiness had flown right down and lit on my shoulders.  They held a banner in their beak that said, THIS IS ONE HAPPY GIRL    I’m pretty sure I saw flutter byes flying around, too.

Mom gave me something I dearly wanted.  I didn’t ask for it.  I didn’t say a word about skates.  It was a gift out of the blue.  As excited as I was to get them…I wonder why I don’t remember ever using them?  Maybe the ‘giving’ of the gift was of more importance than the gift itself.  Perhaps the knowing that my Mom wanted me to have something I longed for was of some importance to me.  I remember how it felt when I realized what she had done.  How special I felt!   I feel the same way today some 50 years later.    And, let’s be honest here…I had committed 3 sins while sitting there, and I don’t remember ever repenting.  So, I guess I probably…well…maybe…just a tiny bit did not deserve them.  

*********************************************

There is much to think upon when you think back on the gifts that have made an impression on you through the years.

Feel free to play along, if you like…..

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Reading time: 10 min
Family, General, HUMOR

SCENES FROM CHRISTMAS 2010

December 30, 2010 by tonja 10 Comments

Here are pictures from Christmas at the Creek House…

Ian bought his Christmas gifts before he came home.  And, he decided to go to Baby’s R Us to get something for Suzanne.  He obviously had fun looking around, and he told me it was surprising all the things that they made for babies now.  We all got a big laugh when Suzanne opened her gift from him!  He wants Little Levi to wear this often!

He loves sweet little John Thomas, and the feeling is certainly mutual.  Hopefully he is learning some good skills to use when Levi gets here.

John Thomas was such a joy to have around on Christmas.  We all had fun with him and he was so good.  His very smart Mom and Dad have wisely made music a part of his  life every day…and he loves it!  Actually, when he hears music, he begins moving his hands up and down like he’s leading music.  No, he doesn’t even know about that, but that’s what it looks like to us!  Almost as an afterthought, I got him this little snowman.  He sings and sways as he sings Deck the Halls.  Great idea, Tonja!  Let me just say that if you hear Deck the Halls 1329 times in one day, it begins to get a little weary…but he loved it every.single.time.

Ian has been the official turkey carver for the past several years.  But, this year, he said it was time for Alex to learn.  So, here those 2 clowns are…in MY aprons…carving our Christmas Turkey!

Here’s Joy and John Thomas

Finn wanted to join in on the fun…

And, let me show you my favorite gift from the day.  It is from Alex.  This is one of my personal mottos…and he has observed it through the years.  Thanks, Alex…I love it

The Owens’ Family…..

The McKibben Family…..

The Cousins……….

Wish I knew how to make those last 3 larger.  Sorry.

On Christmas Eve, it is our tradition to have a meal of boiled shrimp and cheese biscuits.  This year, Don also got lobster claws and crab claws.  Suzanne is not a big seafood fan, and it really is not my favorite.  So, I made she and I some potato soup.  Here are the boys chowing down.  I don’t know why it required so much mess on the island!

Tonja…Pop…Joy

Tina and Patty came  over on Christmas Eve and helped me with a few things…..I love these 2 girls!

Ian woke me up on Sunday morning to say “see you later”…

Don has a few words of wisdom for him to mull over on his trip home….

He pulls out of the driveway, looks back to wave once more, and sets his sights toward Birmingham.  Don and I head inside…..he to read the paper,  me back to bed.  And, this ends the Christmas doings for 2010.

But, it’s not really over , is it?  Not until every Santa,  elf, wreath, ornament, garland, tree, candle, holly, wrapping paper, bow, ribbon, and beautiful angel is put away to wait for next year. 

 Oh, and those little ornament hooks, you know the small ones?  They have a way of hooking themselves on to the bottom of couches and rugs and pillows and…….

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Reading time: 2 min
Family, Friends, General

CHRISTMAS…..THE SHORT VERSION…

December 27, 2010 by tonja 3 Comments

 

1.  Christmas Eve was a fun gathering.

2.  Christmas Day was a wonderful.   Even with me cooking!  All family was here!

3.  Rested all day yesterday and most of today.

4.  Will catch up soon.  I just need to take a couple days.

5.  Happy 2011 !!!!!

6.  I’m trying to think of another name to call our town.  Cause Dothan is NOT supposed to be this COLD!!!

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Reading time: 1 min
Faith, Family, General, Remembering

GIVE A SMILE

December 19, 2010 by tonja 10 Comments

May I introduce you to my youngest son, Ian.

Handsome fellow…if I do say so myself. With a ‘million dollar smile’.  Literally!   But, the year following his birth was one of the hardest of my life.  I was thrust into a situation for which I had no understanding, no information, and no plan.  Quickly, I had to do all of these things to take care of this little boy who was born with a cleft lip and palate.

After his first surgery, this was my first glimpse of my baby’s face…

And, by the time we left the hospital in NC , 3 weeks later…this was his beautiful face…

This was only the first and there have been many, many, many surgeries to close fistulas,  graft bone, implant teeth, move jaw, straighten nose, and on and on and on.  He is now 28 years old, and in the next year, he will again undergo some more corrective surgery.  This will be either 14 or 15…I lost count around # 10.

Can you imagine how much we have spent on this face and mouth?  We begrudge not a penny, and thank God we had good insurance.  As hard as it has been to see him suffer, he is still a mighty lucky and blessed young man.  Even though this was traumatic, and painful…he was blessed to be born into a family who had the means to take care of his needs.   He belonged to a family that could find the best doctors, who could track down information, who could meet the needs as they arose.  And, he was surrounded by family and school mates and church family that loved him as he was and pulled for him all through life.

There are many, many children in this world who are not so fortunate.  They face banishment from their villages and their families.  Some are left to starve to death.  Others are quickly drowned so that no one will see the shame they believe was brought to their family.  It breaks my heart.  It is so sad that there are those who just don’t know that a face is not who the child is….that he there behind the defect…and he needs love and comfort.  But, also, most of these people know that there is nothing they can do to help their child.  There is no help where they are.  Maybe they don’t even know that the defect can be fixed.

 

” Unlike many charities that do many different things, The Smile Train mission is focused on solving a single problem: cleft lip and palate.
  Clefts are a major problem in developing countries where there are millions of children who are suffering with unrepaired clefts. Most cannot eat or speak properly. Aren’t allowed to attend school or hold a job. And face very difficult lives filled with shame and isolation, pain and heartache.
  The good news is every single child with a cleft can be helped with surgery that costs as little as $250 and takes as little as 45 minutes.
  This is our mission:
    -To provide free cleft surgery for millions of poor children in developing countries.
    -To provide free cleft-related training for doctors and medical professionals.
  Until there are no more children who need help and we have completely
eradicated the problem of clefts.”
      from www.smiletrain.org

“Over the past ten years, we have provided free cleft lip and palate surgery for hundreds of thousands of children.

These children were suffering not because they were born with a cleft, but because they were born too poor to ever afford surgery.”

“Being born with a cleft in a developing country is truly a curse. In fact, every baby born in Uganda with a cleft is given the name Ajok which means literally, “cursed by God.” And no one knows how many newborns with clefts are killed or abandoned right after birth.

And the ones who are lucky enough to find a Smile Train free cleft surgery program, not only survive, they thrive. After a 45 minute surgery hands them back their future, and a second chance at life that they never Thought could happen.”   www.smiletrain.org

Friends, this is such a worthy charity.  I shudder to think of what my own child’s life would have become if we were not able to have the best medical care possible.  Every little bit helps.  Even though we have spent many, many, many thousands of dollars on Ian…through Smile Train, a child can have the cleft surgery for $250!

Gifts may be given in honor of someone or in memory of a loved one.  They accept any amount and will send a card to the recipitent, if you so desire.  We really don’t need more trinkets and baubles and bangles.  We have enough of everything we own to last a life time.  These sweet children will have nothing if those of us who care do not help.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Please go to www.smiletrain.org. for more information.

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Reading time: 4 min
Family, General

AN AFTERNOON WITH JOHN THOMAS

December 17, 2010 by tonja 4 Comments

John Thomas came to stay today,

To explore the house and pet and play.

First, he spotted the garland shiny

It wrapped round and round that boy so tiny.

 

 Soon he had enough of that stuff

Now he wants to play…and rough!

Here comes Finn, see him run

He only wants to join the fun.

 

OK Finn, be on your way

There’s more we want to do today.

We snacked and rocked and took a nap

All the while in Aunt Tonja’s lap.

Awwww, Mommy’s here…time to go

Buckle up…..now there you go!

Come back soon…we’ll play again

Until then…be sweet, Little Man.

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About Me

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I am a Christian woman who has survived many years on the planet. God has blessed me with a wonderful family: husband, 3 sons, a dear DIL, and a precious grandson. I also have dear friends to keep me inspired. I am an artist of sorts and am finding my way through the great blessing of retirement. I recently retired after 20 years as a music teacher. Life is good!

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"All your sons will be taught by the Lord; and great will be their peace." Isaiah 54:13
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