As you well know, my mind is on 1 thing these days…or at least it was.
There are not many things that I have a fear of. Thanks to a Daddy who taught me that there was nothing I could not do if I just tried. (Thanks, Pop) But, a fear I have never conquered is my fear of the dentist. I put off going as long as I can, and only make the appointment when there is no other way out. Yes, I know this is irrational, and silly…..well, it’s just plain stupid, really. And, my mind knows that…but my soul still feels like running for the hills. And, I do not know why I have this fear, or why it is so strong…..but it is. I have prayed for help in overcoming it, but so far….it’s as strong as ever. Several years ago, I began having a terrible toothache, and I knew I had to find some help fast. I had run into a high school friend recently and she told me she was a dental assistant. So, I called her and asked for “HELP!” She tried to calm my fears and said to come right then. Because I did not think I could pull the offending tooth from my head…I went. The dentist was wonderful. She was very calm and understanding. And, she promised not to hurt me. And she didn’t. I ended up having to have 2 root canals and never felt a thing. Not even pain afterwards. She got me all fixed up, and I promised myself that I was going to go regularly from then on. I didn’t. And, now a part of a filling has fallen out. And I have been paralyzed. I leave for my trip on Saturday, and I was toying with the idea of taking a chance that all would be well, and I could wait till I got back. I knew I should call and see about this…but I could not make the call. I am such a fool. Don saw me wincing and asked about it, and told me I WAS GOING TO FIX IT……..NOW! He called today and they will see me on Wednesday. Which is fine, because it is not hurting…it is just rough on my tongue. Plus, that gives me another day and a half to work myself up into a twisted mess. I am ashamed of myself for being like this…and for not going back to see her sooner, and now I am in a mess and it’s time for my trip, and why didn’t I just do the right thing, but I am so scared, and this is silly and it serves me right, and …and…and…
Just say a prayer for me, my friends…obviously I need it….BAD!
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