Oh, what a sad, sad mess. This is what happens when you try to reach the top of a shelf to get to an old, left over band uniform cap. Especially if an oversized picture destined to be hung in the foyer of your new house is blocking the way…because someone put it in front of the closet instead of next to the wall. And, if the closet door has been removed from the hinges because your sons who used to live in the house crammed the closet full of stuff and nonsense…like a band uniform which most certainly should NOT have been in their possession, and a full set of bowling pins from a bowling alley. Among the other treasures unearthed in the closet were 2 duffle bags…with broken zippers, 18 CD’s minus their cases, 2 Monopoly games still unopened, a guitar, a pair of leather pants, and a vacuum cleaner. Why, I ask you, would a plastic box full of delicate china angels be in the top of this closet? I just can’t even come close to thinking of a good answer. But, there it was. And, when I reached for the cap…which I was donating, along with the uniform, to a Christian school for their drama and music department, out of the goodness of my heart…the bowling pins began to fall. Being quick to size up the situation, I realized the bowling pin was in the direct path of my toes. Reaching quickly to steady myself so as to get my toes out of the way, I surprisingly misjudged the distance and fell onto the unhinged door. This caused the bare toes of my left foot to remain in the path of the falling pin. (Real bowling pins are extremely heavy…and if they fall onto your unprotected bare toes…chances are that the words that escape from your mouth are not words you would be proud of saying…out loud… Nor will you really do what you said you would do to your grown children…I’m just saying…) It also resulted in the fragile, china angels…which should never have been in this closet in the first place…to fall out of the top of the closet and land in a broken heap next to my twisted body. BUT…I got the hat…and the oversized art which was in danger of falling against the desk, pushed by my falling body…didn’t.

The ‘fallen angels’ are in the trash. The duffle bags with broken zippers are in the trash. The CDs are in the trash. The Monopoly games are in the garage sale pile. The guitar is in the garage sale pile. The vacuum cleaner is in the garage sale pile. The leather pants…I’m wearing to work tomorrow!!!!JUST KIDDING!!!..in the garage sale. The bowling pins…minus the 2 which fell…are still at the top of the closet and there they will stay. Forever and ever…unless the future owner of this house chooses to move them…since he could have been the one who put them there in the first place.

The cap…is in the car, to be delivered tomorrow. And, I am on the bed…with an iced, elevated foot. Bad afternoon.