DH and I were away from home and not on any schedule.  So when I woke up earlier than he, I eased out of bed…very quietly…and moved to the den.  I opened the computer and read.  I did nothing to wake him up and nothing to make any noise.  I opened the refrigerator very quietly and eased out a DDP and opened it inside the refrigerator…so even the “WHOOSH” sound wouldn’t disturb him.  Cause, y’all don’t even know…just  normal breathing disturbs him.  I didn’t dare get dressed.

After about 40 minutes, I heard him up and then he came into the den.

ME:  “Good morning”

DH:  “Good morning.  I’m hungry.  Let’s go and get a biscuit.”

ME:  “But, I’m not dressed.  Just go on and get us something and I’ll get the table ready.”

DH:  “No, come on and ride with me.”

ME:  “But, my hair isn’t even combed.”

DH:  “You’re fine.  Come on, you’ll just be in the truck.”  Yes, I was tooling around town looking like a sad, sad excuse for womankind everywhere…and I’m doing it in a truck!  One of my least favorite forms of transportation!  But, DH loves it…and it does beat walking! 🙂

ME:  “O.K.  But, I’m NOT getting out of the truck.”  So, out of the house I go…just as I looked when I got out of bed.  And, it’s not pretty.  I had on my pajama bottoms…short, bright green with white polka dots.  I had on the top to another pair of pajamas.  Heaven only knows why…but I packed the top of one set and the bottom of another. You know, some pajamas can almost pass for regular clothes…and the bottoms of my ensemble could have passed…perhaps if I had had on a matching top.  The top I did have on was bright orange…very baggy (so as to sleep more comfortably).  It is not a top I would ever wear out because the neck…she is a little too low for my comfort.  Thankfully, I did have on an upper body undergarment.  I left with no shoes…not even flip-flops.  I was not cute.  Comfortable, but not cute.

We traveled the 2 minute trip it takes to get to the doughnut shop/biscuit place.  I told him what I wanted  to eat and drink.

He ordered and came back to the truck while he was waiting, to tell me the following:

DH:  “Look at all those tables they have out here to sit and eat at.  I bet you would enjoy eating out here in the cool breeze.  It sure is nice.”

I just bet he thinks I bet I would enjoy sitting outside in the cool breeze.  In my green pajama bottoms, and my bright orange, too low for daytime top, and no shoes, makeup or hair combing.

ME:  “We can sit here in the truck if you want to, but I’m not going to get out looking like this and go sit at those picnic tables.”

But, something told me this was one of those battles that was going to be senseless to fight.  It was early.  I was hungry.  No one there looked any better than I…and they were ready for the day, and some were heading to the beach.  So, I went searching through his truck to see if I could, at least,  find a comb.  My DH is one of the neatest, most groomed persons I know.  He’s right on par with my Pop.  I can get a shower, wash and dry my hair, put on makeup, pick out and iron my clothes and get dressed…fully…and he will still be in the shower!  So, I would expect him to have several combs stashed around the truck.  Because, the man…he does LOVE to comb his hair.  LOVES!  But, no comb.  All I found were his deacon ministry cards from church, a dozen or so straws from McD’s, several plastic wrapped spoons and forks, a few coins, some chapstick, and a random key.  I thought to myself, “What would Mrs. McGyver do?”

Well, let me tell you, friends.  I discovered that you can take a plastic fork and hold it backwards (upside down)  and it makes a fairly decent comb.  It only has 4 teeth, of course.  But, in a pinch…it’ll do!

And, when DH came back to the truck, I hopped out, and tiptoed through the sand spurs to the picnic tables.

It was, indeed, delightful sitting there in the cool breeze eating our biscuit next to the ocean.  And, after I finished my biscuit, I was REALLY glad I had agreed to expose my self and my night clothes to the morning sun.  Cause in the bottom of the bag was the freshest, gooiest, Long John!  (Rectangle of glazed doughnut dough, filled with yummy white cream, and topped with chocolate icing.)  It was divine!  It was scrumptious!  It was the best!  We enjoyed our breakfast…and the dessert and then, I waited till no one was looking, that I could see, and tiptoed back through the sand spurs (little pods about the size of a pea that are covered in strong, mean, mean stickers) and hopped up into the truck.  SAFE!

Sometimes, you just have to let go of the way you feel and just live the moment as it presents itself.    I did and the reward was well worth it!  Sweet memories made on a weathered old picnic table, by the ocean, just me and DH.

I probably shouldn’t mention that I was also silently beseeching the Lord to “please don’t let anybody who knows me show up while I’m here!”

Monday evening…

From the minute I opened my eyes this morning…the day had *****DISASTER*****written all over it.  Sometimes I can be wrong about these things.  I’ll think it’s going to be a hard day and it will actually turn out well.  But today?  I was spot on!  UN-fortunately!

Today was the month checkup following my cataract surgery.  I had been working on a project out of town over the weekend, and didn’t return home until just several hours earlier, spent a few hours in fitful sleep, and got ready to hit the road by 8:00.  Joy and I usually travel together, but she was not able to go and neither was Don.  So before I left, I got Alex to help me with the Navigation App on my phone.  (The Dr.’s office is tucked away in a spot that requires you to drive an unbelievable obstacle course for several miles to find it).  I wanted to make sure the ‘voice that lives in my phone’ would talk to me when I needed the directions.  Because, even though I can drive just fine, I still can’t get used to reading worth a flip!  And, I knew I could not drive and read!  ANYWAY…he fixed it and even showed me what to do if it happened to mess up.  I took the phone from him and carefully laid it in the car so as not to disturb anything he had done.

I was later getting off than I wanted and the weather was the pits!

Rain and storms and low visability….but I made it into the city and turned on the phone and the ‘voice’.  NOTHING.  N.O.T.H.I.N.G.  Not a sound.  Not a whisper.  The ‘voice that lives in my phone’ chose this time to be silent.  I found a place to pull over to study the problem…because the rain…he was falling!!!  (I know it was male rain…it always is when thunder is involved).  I did just what Alex showed me.  And, I took off again…secure in the fact that the ‘voice’ would soon begin to impress me with her knowledge of the crooks and turns that is the Birmingham road system.  NOT.  A.  SINGLE.  SOUND.  Except the sound of me praying aloud for the Good Lord to “take control of my phone and turn it from an evil determined to cause me grief into an instrument of good will.”   I’m sure He had much more important things to take care of…because nary a word came from the phone.  I called Ian.  He had no ideas for me.  He was busy at work…and there was little time for a semi hysterical mother.  He suggested a few things to try, but they were useless.  Friends, I was on my own.

Looking for one little office in the big, rainy, dreary, sad city.  I pulled over for the fourth time.  This time…it was to pray a proper prayer, and ask for guidance and calmness.  And once again, I took off in the direction I thought I should go.

I soon knew I was headed the right way, because I saw some places that looked familiar.  So, I kept going… first down one road, then up another and around at least 1,000 curves.

Obviously, somewhere I went wrong, because I ended up further away than I was when I started!!!   I went back and instead of ‘zigging’…I ‘zagged’.  And this time, I got a little closer.  Once again, I made a wrong turn and ended up going in a circle…but at least I wasn’t getting further away!  STILL NOT A SOUND FROM THE PHONE!  I was determined to get there.  After checking to be sure the volume on the phone was as loud as it would go, on the off chance it regained consciousness, I turned down the only road I had not gone on.  AND…….it was the right one!  HOO-RAY!  I made it!  I did it!  I found it!

The rain was still pouring, so I got the umbrella and made my way through the ankle deep puddles to the door.

And, as I walked through the door I heard the distinctive sound of the ‘voice that lives in my phone’ saying…“stay on Highway 31 for 4.3 miles then make a left onto…blah!  blah!  BLAH!”  Everyone in the building heard it as well since the volume was still at its loudest!  I wanted to cry…but, at this point in my day, it would have been an ugly, ugly scene.  So when the receptionist said, “Oh, Mrs. Owens, there you are!  We were getting worried about you!”  I just smiled the kindest smile I could muster, and thanked her.  Then, I sat down, folded up the dripping wet umbrella, wiped the raindrops off my glasses, and reached into my purse…took that phone and ripped the battery off its back with my bare hands.  I put it at the bottom of my purse and piled everything else in there on top of it.  The empty shell of a phone looked up at me helpless as can be.  It’s probably a good thing the waiting room was full…else it may have found itself under my wet, muddy shoe!

I think God must have a wonderful sense of humor.  I hope you don’t think me sacrilegious when I say that.  Because I say it with much respect.  I happen to think that a sense of humor is one of the things needed most to survive this world with the mind somewhat intact!  If we can not laugh at the funny, the absurd, the quirkiness of life…we miss a whole lot of fun!

Just look at some of the creatures He created…they are hilarious!

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.”  Job 8:21

Well,  in my life, there are always funny coincidences.  And, sometimes, I can just imagine He is laughing with me when I ‘get it’!  Do you remember that old joke….”Wanna know how to make God laugh?”…..”Just tell Him YOUR plans!”  I’m sure we crazy humans amuse Him quite often.

“A joyful heart is good medicine…….”  Proverbs 17:22 a

Well…before we go on a trip, we always have a prayer after we get into the car.  We ask for safety for us as we travel and for others travelling as well.  And, because I believe in praying specifically, I ask Him to put His angels all around our car as we go.  (Doesn’t it make you feel safe to think of His angels travelling along with you?  It does me.)

So, as Joy and I were travelling home from Birmingham, we saw something we never thought we would see…RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR CAR!  Exactly what we had prayed for!   We both just laughed and laughed and laughed.  And, then I made her slow down so that we could get a picture.  I mean…I had no doubt at all that God had done as we asked.  But, to SEE them…that’s another story!

Yes, there they were!  Just like I had prayed for!  One is sitting upright and two were lying down.  But, I’m sure they, too, were on guard, nonetheless!

And, then I imagined God laughed and laughed and laughed.

“Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”  Psalm 126:2