OLD SONG…NEW TWISTS

Yes, yes, yes…I’m moving on up in years. But, I really don’t mind, I have only 1 other choice…and I’m not ready for that…well, I’m ready…just not homesick!

Anyway. A few years ago, in some reading, some where…I read this story about Julie Andrews.

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special
appearance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.
One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’ from the legendary movie
‘Sound Of Music’. Here are the lyrics she used:
(Sing It!) – If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts ,and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over
four minutes and repeated encores)

Very clever, huh? Soon after that, my friend, Bonnie, and I were celebrating our birthdays, just a few days apart. This was while I was still working. And, we knew there was going to be a party. I thought that it would be fun to surprise the rest of the teachers by singing this to them after they sang Happy Birthday to us. But, the more I looked at the verses, the more I realized that it was written for folks way older than us…and it would never do. So, I began working on my own version. Bonnie and I talked back and forth, and finally we had it right. Now the verses fit these ‘middle ages’ much better. We did indeed surprise the rest of the teachers…and they loved it! We did NOT, however, receive a 4 minute standing ovation! 🙂

So, here is our version…and remember…it’s funnier if you sing it!

MY FAVORITE THINGS

REVISED for the 50-something crowd…by Tonja Owens
—————————————————-
Maalox and eye drops and clothes that aren’t fitting,
Holding the handrails and cushions for sitting,
Sweating profusely that hot flashes bring,
These are a few of our favorite things.

Gravity and cataracts and hearing aids and gasses,
Correctol and prilosec and bifocal glasses,
Weddings and grandkids and porches with swings,
These are a few of our favorite things.

When the ‘pipes’ leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
We simply remember our favorite things,
And then we don’t feel so bad.

Toast and hot coffee and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy dishes or food cooked with onions,
Elastic waist pants and the old songs we sing,
These are a few of our favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains, and no time for sinnin’,
Old friends and new friends and lines made from grinnin’,
Being so careful while spreading our wings,
These are just some of our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes go dim,
Then we just remember the great fun we’ve had,
And then we don’t feel so bad.

Fun…..Friends…..Memories !

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8 Comments

  1. Dick will thank me for reading this somewhere other than in bed. Did you see his FB comment today? How many times I have checked blogs on my phone while he"s falling asleep, and invariably I get to yours and go 'over the edge", as he said today!

    Those lyrics are hilarious!!

  2. OH, TONJA!!!

    You'll be getting a call from the producers of "MENOPAUSE, THE MUSICAL" the minute they hear about this!!!

    How clever and perfect scan and perfect rhyme! Wow. Just wow.

    PS And if you haven't seen it—DOOOO. There's a moment or two when you want to hide your face with your purse, but otherwise, it's terrific, with lots of songs parodied just like this.

  3. I have seen the Julie Andrews one. I like the new one a lot ! Funny………..

  4. I’ve heard her version…..I LOVE your version! Too cute.

  5. Love your version best!

    Hugs,
    Kat

  6. How clever, Tonja! Yours is just as good as Ms. Andrews' version. I know your fellow teachers were so impressed.

  7. I haven't seen this side of Bonnie!!

  8. Forgot about that . . . it was fun! And your influence remains . . . they did another song on my birthday this year to the tune of "When the Roll is Called up Yonder" that was retitled "When the Preschool Doors are Open, She'll Be There" as performed by the Bondellas . . . a great performance by the girls and lead by Lynn. It was very funny . . . SO wished I had a video! See what you started!!

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