REPRINTED FROM USA TODAY….THURSDAY, MAY 10, 2012 EDITION

YOU CAN’T REDEFINE MARRIAGE

by Brian Babione

The union between one man and one woman — marriage — is timeless, universal and special. It is the only relationship absolutely essential to the future of humanity. False characterizations of marriage as something else confuses the discussion about it.

As diverse cultures have long understood — before cultural elites intentionally began their attempt to change the conversation — marriage is the fundamental building block for all of human civilization, not merely an arrangement between any two or more people who say they love each other. Marriage between a man and a woman naturally builds family — mom, dad and children — and gives hope that the next generations will carry on into the future.

Men and women bring distinct, irreplaceable gifts to family life, and the lifelong, faithful union of a man and a woman benefits society, especially children, in ways that no other relationship can

Marriage is, therefore, society’s time-tested way to bless as many children as possible with both a mom and a dad. Why? Because moms and dads are both necessary. Neither is replaceable by a generic adult. Many men make good dads, but no man can ever be a mom. Many women make good moms, but no woman can ever be a dad.

We as a society should not be comfortable with fostering circumstances where children are intentionally deprived of either a mother or a father. This is not a matter of whom to include in marriage; it is a matter of what marriage actually is. Redefining marriage is nothing short of creating a square circle.

Understanding this, some suggest that we create “civil unions” instead. But people who advocate for that do so with the mistaken belief that everyone will be satisfied with this apparent compromise. In practice, neither side is happy.

In every U.S. jurisdiction where civil unions have been enacted, those who advocated for them subsequently rejected them as inadequate and demanded that marriage be redefined. Opposing same-sex “marriage” while supporting civil unions is akin to the Trojans dragging a wooden horse into the middle of Troy.

Both the direct and indirect attacks on marriage should be recognized for what they are so that society can continue to protect marriage and thereby protect children.

Byron Babione is senior counsel with the Alliance Defense Fund

Joy and I learned of this honor a month or so ago and had made plans for the day.  Both of her girls and their families were there.  Ian drove in from Birmingham, Adam and Suzanne came, and Alex made a heroic effort and was able to go, as well.  Pop came into church and was surprised to see all of Joy’s family.  While Lori and Ben attend Southside, Tara, Will and Little John Thomas attend church in their little town of Abbeville.  He did not seem to think it odd at all that they were all there.  Then, he walked over to where we sit.  There sat Ian, And Alex.  He was very surprised to see them both.  And, while he was standing there…here comes Adam and Suzanne!  Still, he thought it just happenstance.  We sent him back to sit with the ‘girls’….that way he would be closer to where the presentation would take place.

The service started. And soon came time for the presentation.  Following is what our Director to Sr. Adults and close family friend, Rhonda Grandstaff read………

In May of each year, we recognize and celebrate Senior Adults in our church. We make an attempt to show them just how much they are loved and appreciated.  We do this by recognizing them in the Sunday morning service and providing a luncheon for them on their special day – Sr. Adult Day.

Also, each year the members of the Sr. Adult Committee nominate a Sr. Adult to be the recipient of Southside’s Sr. Adult of the year. This is done by secret ballot.

The recipient of the award this year joined Southside in 1963  and has been a faithful member for a total of 49 years.  He has held many positions in our dear church – some of which include:  adult counselor to Southside’s Youth Council, deacon, member of the budget committee, committee on committees,  insurance and safety committee, church training director,  missions committee, nominating committee, brotherhood director, trustee for the church,  and department director.  As a department director, he continues to be an advocate for the Senior Adults by encouraging them to avail themselves of all the opportunities that Southside offers.  He also takes great pride in being a friend to the young people of our church.

 He is a strong supporter for missions.  This has been evident in his giving and serving.  He has been on 8 trips to over 31 countries and has demonstrated a genuine love for the Southern Baptist missionaries and their work (by building churches, doing home repairs, funding radio stations, and befriending missionary kids in many ways.)

 He has always been a strong and faithful family man.  He was married to the love of his life for 58 years.  His wife was extremely involved in missions for much of their married life – leading the Southside ladies in annual mission trips. He has 2 daughters who are active members of Southside Baptist Church.  God has blessed him with 5 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren.

It was a unanamous decision by the Sr. Adult Council to recommend Mr. Clyde Townsend as Southside’s Sr. Adult of the Year.

Join me in expressing our appreciation for his hard work and dedication to our church but more importantly to our Lord.

We all know that Mrs. Ella would have been so proud of this deserving honor bestowed on him.

And about halfway through, he realized they were talking about him.  So surprised, he said he didn’t realize there had been a standing ovation until looking at the pictures and talking to us.  He walked up and received his plaque from our Pastor, Brother Stacy, and a beautiful rose for his lapel.  The children of the church had made him a snuggly blanket to keep in his reading chair.   But, he still didn’t put it together why all his grandchildren were there.  The church provided a wonderful luncheon for all the Seniors in the church, and they had a head table set up for our family…15 places with high chairs on either end!  And that’s when he said…”That’s why you all came today!”  We had a delicious lunch, and enjoyed visiting with each other as well as with many of our friends.  So many people came over and said such nice things to Pop.   He is so dear to us, but he is special to others as well.

Southside has had its share of hard times through the years…I think most churches go through some of this.  Pop has seen things firsthand since he joined Southside in 1963.  We have dealt with situations that required finesse, we have had to perform unpleasant tasks, we have  had to take away, and build back up.  We have had years full of blessings and years when the going was more difficult.  We have grown and failed to grow.  We have been been stolen from in more ways than one.  But, this great church has stood.  It has taken its blows and it has become stronger from its wounds.  It has produced preachers, teachers, ministers of music and education, and missionaries…and business men and women and mothers and fathers and on and on and on.   It has produced strong men and women from its boys and girls.  They have gone and continue to go out into various communities all over our country and others.

Southside is strong and has been strong, and will continue to be strong because of the great men and women who have stood firm through good times and bad. This is the legacy those of my generation have been given.  This is the legacy we stand on as we strive to follow in the paths that the seniors  still among us, as well as those who have gone to Glory, have left to us.   This is the the legacy we will, in turn, leave to our children.

I write all these deep thoughts to say to all those seniors in our church, “Thank you for showing us the way to build a church…not just telling us.  Thank you for showing us how to live when we had differences and disagreements with one another…not just telling us.  Thank you for showing us how to revere and appreciate our church…not just telling us.  Thank you for being examples that we are blessed to follow.  Thank you for showing a Christ-like attitude and loving forgiveness to those who seemed intent on harming the spirit of our fellowship.

So, though my Pop was the recipitent this year of this honor…and I am so proud of him…I wish to honor all the seniors of our great church.

It was a good day.  Pop is still talking about his honor!  He’s so happy!  To the Sr. Adult Committee we say ‘Thank-you, from our hearts.”

And, I add..”Thank you to all the seniors for your stedfastness, wisdom and guidance.”

“The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.”     Proverbs 20:29

“Gray hair is a crown of splendor;  It is attained by a righteous life.”    Proverbs 16:31

“…the older women should then teach the younger…”     Titus 2:4

“To the older men; be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers-not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.  And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.”  1 Peter 5:1-4

Yesterday, Adam, went out to clean up his yards.  He has been so busy lately with school and other work that the yards have been neglected.  ( This isn’t just a busy body Mother talking here.  I’m just trying to set this story up for you.  However, his Dad had mentioned it to him a time or two)  Since Adam is on a few weeks break, he tackled the yards yesterday.  One area had gotten particularly out of control.  Adam, dressed in thick sox, heavy work boots and long jeans tackled the foliage.  At some point in his ‘war on weeds’ he got a ‘mosquito bite’ on his leg.  At the time he didn’t stop to think how difficult it would have been for a mosquito to get up his pants leg…but said he did think, “That must have been a whopper of a mosquito!”  Later, when undressing, he noticed it was red and really itching.  It bothered him through the night…itching and swelling and throbbing.  Looking at his leg this morning…he noticed two marks,,,right in the middle…two marks that looked amazingly like puncture wounds …the kind snakes make!

He went to his doctor.  The doctor sent him to Prime Care.  Prime Care sent him to the ER.  They said that it was indeed a snake bite, and did bloodwork to determine the type of snake. But all they know for sure is that it was an adult snake and it was poisonous, most likely a rattler or a copperhead.  Fortunately, it wasn’t a mocassin, whose bite is the most venomous.  The venom of these three snakes is a hemo-toxin.  That means it causes all the blood vessels that come in contact with the venom to rupture.  So, by observation they could tell that this snake did not inject a tremendous amount of venom.  Also, the venom contains an enzyme which causes the muscles to cramp.  The doctor told him that the snake did not see him as prey, but rather it was just defending it’s territory.  Otherwise there would have been a greater amount of venom involved.

They started him on anti-venom and antibiotic, and sent him home to watch.  Are these folks in the ER crazy or what!!!  He should have had his leg put in traction and been attended by round the clock doctors and nurses until all signs of injury were past!!!!!  Well, OK, maybe I’m over reacting just a tad, but this is my boy we’re talking about here!

And so, another adventure in the lives of the Owens’ family!  This was our first snake bite and hopefully the last.  Adam and his Dad and his Father in law are going to put out some sulphur to keep snakes away.  I don’t know about all that…but they sure can’t let that sweet baby Levi out in the yard with out an armed bodyguard!  This grandmother says so!

Oh, isn’t God good?  He goes before his children and takes care of our needs, and we may never know it.  There ‘so happened’ to be a doctor on duty in the ER who is a snakebite and venom expert.  This ’so happened’ to be a ‘laid back’ sorta snake whose motto was….“No Trespassing”  instead of “Kill All Intruders!”.  And, this ‘so happened’ to occur just when Adam has a break from school and has time to recuperate.

Oh, and that lesson I was talking about learning the hard way…….”always keep your yard cut and groomed…you never know who’s looking for a home!”  I think he’s got it now!

“The Lord will keep you from all harm, He will watch over your life.”     Psalm 127:7 NEV

As it turned out…there was an early change of plans.  We were not able to do any decorating on Friday evening…it all had to be done on Saturday morning…wedding, reception inside, reception outside…before pictures which were slated to start at noon.  I arrived at the venue before 7:00 am Saturday.  There was no one else there.  Oh what a beautiful, quiet and peaceful few moments I had to take in the beauty of the grounds here at M’s Vineyard.  I’m sure in this great and wonderful world there are thousands of gardens grander than this…but in our little town, this is grand.  It makes me wonder how our Lord decides where to take a morning stroll with such beauty to choose from…for I’m sure He was walking with me Saturday morning.  What an unexpected blessing to have a few private moments to praise Him for His goodness.  Following are some of those early morning pics…

Don’t you agree?  It is just so lovely!  And, the jasmine and the honeysuckle and the roses were in full bloom and smelling divine!

Here was my other view when I arrived…

…much to be done!  (Notice the vineyards in the background?)

We bagan by moving all of our ‘stuff’ to the tent from our cars and from the house and from around the grounds.  We had one of the groomsmen who kindly came to help us.  Tina and I have all this stuff at our houses…stuffed into garages and storerooms and used in our decor from time to time.  To do this type of decorating you really need to be a collector.  You could never find all these things at one time…they are just not available.  It has taken years of collecting to gather most of these.  And, we have lots more we didn’t bring.

So we got everything unloaded and spread out and then went back in to get the tablecloths.  Coming back across the lawn, we heard something we had not heard previously…sort of a whirring.  And, then, all of a sudden, the SPRINKLER SYSTEM CAME ON IN FULL FORCE!!!  And, guess where 2 of the sprinkler heads were?  UNDER THE TENT!!  Yes, 2…right in the middle of our tent…wetting supplies, tables, EVERYTHING!      Quick thinking Tina threw 2 of the large tree sections on top of the heads, forcing them into the ground.  This kept the water off the tables…but it caused 2 large puddles on the ground instead!  It took about 20 minutes for us to get the water turned off.  This gave the puddles plenty of time to turn into lakes.  Which is also why my shoes are sitting out in the sun!

Barefooted, I continued to work…I would do what I could on one table and Tina would follow behind me retouching and putting all the extras into place…she is such a wonderful detail person.  It is a delight to work with someone who can catch the same vision you have for a project.  It takes so much of the stress out of a job…unless the BLASTED SPRINKLER SYSTEM COMES ON AND MESSES UP EVERYTHING!!!!.  Hey, we are nothing if not flexible!

(Those empty Mason jars would hold the floating candles that are sitting on the tables)

Working as quickly as we could, we managed to finish under the tent by 11:00.  We went inside and decorated the food table, the 3 drink tables, the gift table, the groom’s table and the mantle.  Whew!  Here are a few of those pics…

Finally, we finished…But, there was still much to do.  The pew (row) markers had to be placed.  Adam needed help with the pics until Suzanne could get Levi situated and get there,  and 101 things that popped up at the last minute.  The bride and groom arrived…an hour later than their scheduled time,  but what bride is ever on time?  Pics inside of her and her mother dressing.  Then out they come.  And, they looked so sweet and beautiful and handsome…and so in love.  They braved the elements…baking sun, no breeze, and a horde of gnats like unto biblical proportions!  And, I’m not exaggerating!

Note the cute cowboy boots!

Danielle and sweet Lucy Jane!  Lucy Jane (Addison) is the daughter of Danielle’s brother, Justin.

Cowboy boots for the bridesmaids, too!

The men in the wedding party…

And, finally, all is ready…Let’s have a weddiing!  Is this sweet Lucy Jane not the cutest thing you have ever seen?  She followed all instructions and did a wonderful job.

Danielle and her Father…

And, it’s over!  Now, let’s party!

Danielle and her stepfather, Patty’s husband, Mike.

My Pop and Danielle have had a long relationship.  She calls to check on him several times a week and they even go out to dinner occasionally.  She honored him so kindly by including him as an honorary grandfather in the ceremony.

What an honor for me to be asked to coordinate and plan this sweet day.  I loved every minute of it.  Well, except the gnats…and the SPRINKLERS!  Otherwise, it was a beautiful day with so many friends that I love.  It was a new beginning for Danielle and Zach.  And, it was a bigger celebration of the goodness of our Heavenly Father who binds us together in Christian love, and causes our hearts to turn to one another in marital love.  For through it all…’we love others because He first loved us!’

Patty is such a dear friend to me.  I loved being a part of this special day in her daughter’s life.  Thanks, Patty for including me!

Beautiful Danielle!  She was such a lovely bride!  And, she is now enjoying a cruise in the Caribbean with her new husband.  Blessing to them both!

These are pictures that I made and some that Patty made.  So, they are not professional, by any means!  I’ll share some of Adam’s when he gets them together and ready to show!

Today starts the wedding weekend for the daughter of my dear friend, Patty.  Danielle and Zach will be married tomorrow afternoon.  Excitement levels are through the roof.

I have been designated the wedding planner and as such, there is much to do.  Many things have been decided already…but, as you well know, much must be done the day before and the day of.  This is to be an outdoor wedding and the weatherman has followed my instructions to the letter.  Warm, a little breeze, no rain, blue sky with fluffy white clouds…a perfect 2 days!  I have been in the garage painting signs this morning and then gathering the last minute things into my tool box.  I want to have everything I could possibly need with me!  I sent all my decor items yesterday…so that will be waiting on me when I arrive.  Tina and I will start the decorating this afternoon, and finish up in the morning.  (I could never get it all done if Tina was not helping me…a ‘friend in deed’ for sure).  The rehearsal will begin at 5:00, and then the dinner…a traditional Southern Bar-b-que meal!

So, if you think of it…I could use a little prayer support, as well.  I especially need for my back to hold up.  There’s much to do and I am honored to be a part of this sweet occasion.

I’ll bring you some pictures of the decor and the venue and the bride, of course!  Adam is doing her pictures starting at 9:00 in the morning!

Hope your weekend will be as full of fun and happiness as ours will be!  Blessings!

I love it when I get to meet someone that I’ve become friends with on the internet.  It really is a small world…and people are alike wherever you live.  Well, except some of you say ‘you guys’ and ‘soda’ or ‘pop’ and I say ‘y’all’ and ‘coke’.  But, otherwise…:=)

THAT #1…

Isn’t this a beautiful amyrillis?  I recieved it as a gift many years ago.  It has recieved no special care from me…at all.  When it quit blooming at first, I stuck it in a pot full of other plants and forgot about it.  Then it bloomed again the next year, so I left it alone.  That was maybe 15 years ago…and it still blooms every year.  I put it in an old pot and brought it with me when we moved to the Creekhouse…set it in the yard…and forgot about it.  And, it still bloomed every year.  But this year, it has 5 huge flowers on the stalk and buds for 3 more!  How can something so neglected bloom so beautifully?  I don’t even water it.  It sits there in its old dirty pot…in the cold…in the rain…in the heat…and waits till just the right time to delight us once again.  God does such amazing things in the plant world.  I am just happy to have this little miracle living in my yard.

THIS #2...

Just a look at my outdoor mantle.  Love this big old fireplace.  And, it is fun to have another mantle to decorate, too!

THAT #2…      When Levi was about 6 months old, I bought him an infant swing with the intentions of it hanging from a tree limb.  ”Not gonna happen,” said Don.  (Because to get it up in any of our trees would require calling for additional people and ladders and ‘stuff’ to make it happen).  And, so my sad little swing has sat on the screened in porch all through the winter and the beginning of spring.  It looked so sad sitting out there…so unattached and all.  I had also been asking for a lawn swing for myself ever since Levi was born, so I could take him outside and swing him in the fresh air.  That didn’t happen either.  But last week, unbeknownest to me, Don went swing shopping.  And he bought a frame for Levi’s swing and one more.  He also bought a wonderful lawn swing with an arbor built over it.  Yesterday, we took Levi out and let him try his swing for the first time.  He cackled right out loud and laughed and smiled.  He loved it!

When swinging was finished we headed back to the house…by way of the pool.  I said ‘yes’ to splashing his feet.

…which moved to the hands…

And, ended with wet, wet clothes!  But wet clothes will dry, as will wet boys.  But, come on!  Is there anything better than splashing your feet in cool water on a warm day?  Oh how wonderful to be grandparents and have the time to allow such frivolity  and encourage new experiences!  My, My! we do have fun together!

THIS #3…          I MUST share this picture with you, my friends.  Another friend posted this on FB this morning and it just warmed my heart.  The picture it paints in my mind is full of comfort and peace.  A mother’s love is so dear.  But, the picture it represents to me is of the Father’s love.  He covers me...that is a most comforting thing.  No matter where and no matter what…He covers me.  (And, He does some of His best work through mothers, doesn’t He?)

His word says it best:

“He will cover you with his feathers.  He will shelter you with his wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection.”     Psalm 91:4

THAT #3…     We are headed south to Destin this weekend for a conference Don needs to attend.  Hey, any excuse to go there will do!  Lots of great shopping and restaurants…and of course the gorgeous beach!  Sure hope the sun shines bright for us!  Have a blessed week-end!  Oh!  And should you have the opportunity….SPLASH A LITTLE !

Here are pictures I took..even though someone complained about me taking them.  Doesn’t bother me…I like to have them and share them.  We missed Tommy today.  But, he needed rest after doing battle with a kidney stone this week and finally resorting to medical intervention.  We missed Alex as well.  He was not feeling well enough to be up.  How my heart of hearts longs for the day he can join us in family gatherings.

AFTER CHURCH…in my yard

AT POP’S HOUSE….

We all went our separate ways…to our own homes.  Don’t know about anyone else…but I had a delicious afternoon nap!  What a treat!  Prayers please as our sweet Tara undergoes maxillofacial surgery in Birmingham this week.  God bless you all on this special day.  And a prayer of thanks for blessings too many to list.

Oh what fun!  Suzanne had planned a baseball themed party and Levi was dressed to fit the bill.

The table had his cute cake, various baseball hats, baseballs, big buckets of peanuts, cookies, chips and all sorts of goodies to coax a big appetite!

Before we ate, we had a sweet blessing of thanks by Pop.  What a priviledge it is to stand in a circle holding hands with the ones you love the most!  We feel so blessed…and thankful.  Here is our sweet Pop, followed by  Levi’s Granddaddy Owens and Papa Horn.  And, sweet hugs by Levi’s Mia and Lulu.  Also attending were Aunt Tara, Aunt Lori, Uncle Ben, and great aunt Joy.

Our eldest ‘little’, John Thomas, came in toting a big package, which was quickly forgotten when he saw Levi’s toys spread across the den floor.  So much to explore.  The boys were happy to see each other and played well together.   Levi was having such a good time he was just dancing across the floor!

After all the guests arrived, Suzanne served us a hot dog lunch, complete with all the great fixing!   Then she changed Levi into another baseball shirt, and put him in his high chair.  She said something about ‘cake.’  But, poor Levi didn’t know what that was.  Besides, she was taking waaaaaaay too long!

“Finally, here she comes!  I don’t even know what cake is…I usually just get beans and carrots!  It sure looks yummy, though…and just like my baseball, too!  LOOK OUT!  it’s on fire!  Whew!  she blew it out.”

“You mean I get the whole thing?  Aren’t you afraid I’ll choke or something?  I’ll be careful.  What’s this green and blue stuff?  YUM!  I like this!”

“This stuff is good!  Now that I’m one, do I get to have cake everyday?”    (Sometimes too much of a good thing can be too much!)

And after all the cake got cleaned up…from the boy and the table…the big cake was cut and the rest of the party got to see just how good it was.  We agreed with Levi…but we ate a little neater!

Then, it was present time!  Levi wasn’t quite sure what to do, but caught on quite quickly when his daddy showed him the ropes…or the ribbon.

“I got a wheel !  What does it go with?”

“Levi!  Levi!  Wait!  You don’t know how to ride yet.  Let me show you how!”

“Well, I know how to ride this boat!”

“Uncle Ian, am I supposed to eat this stuff?

“Maybe I’m ‘spose to wear them!  Yeah!  that’s what they’re for! Wait till I figure out these shade glasses and then I’ll really look cool!”

And,  after a little ‘tummy time’ with Granddaddy,  the party came to an end.  Hugs and kisses all around, we went our separate ways.  Paper and ribbons strewn across the floor, Levi was content in Mommy’s arms with an armful of ribbons to chew on.

And, as I looked at the pictures I had made after I returned home, I was reminded of how thankful I should be.  What a wonderful son Adam is, and such a sweet and caring father to Levi.

He is one of those ‘hands-on’ dads, and that makes me very happy.  A very wise father he is, as well.  He married the perfect girl to be his wife and mother to his children.  What a sweet family they make.  And, they are blessed with  an available extended family to make sure they are doing it right….(Just kidding)  We are blessed.  We “praise God, from whom all blessings flow…”.

But, things have a way of going off the planned path at times…and it seems to happen more often than not with me!

I heard her before I saw her…

VOICE…“Coy, Coy, COY!  You ain’t listening to me.  I said I’d call you when I got finished and that’s what I’m gonna do. ~~~~~~~

No. I ain’t even half through.  You know it takes me longer now.  ~~~~~~~  I’m going fast as I can.  Now go git ya a pizza or something”   She was on a cell phone.

[Talking to her self]  “That fool man ain’t right.  He ain’t right and I’m telling you all here in this store, HE AIN’T RIGHT!  [She yelled that last sentence!]

And, as I rounded the findings aisle…I saw her.  [I write this description simply as information and in no way as a judgement.  I certainly don't know know any of her backstory.  And many times circumstances dictate the way we look and feel and we may not like it but ...it happens]  So, I saw her there in the midst of the aisle…blocking it with her wheelchair.  She was only half in it…the other half hung over either side…bless her heart.  Remember, no finger pointing here…but, she was a larger sized lady.  She had a 2 Liter Mountain Dew in one hand and the other was used to try and roll the wheelchair.  It was hard for her to move it with both feet on the ground.  And a large cylinder of oxygen hung from one side.  It kept falling on the floor, but I never saw her using it.  She was muttering and talking out loud and actually, I thought she must have had someone else shopping with her.  But no…she just needed to talk and it didn’t mat who listened.  “I don’t know why they don’t have teachers round here to teach you how to do this jewel making.  Makes me mad, it does.  How do I know what to do?”

The she backed up and saw me, went back, and then turned around.  UH! OH! she spied me and she headed my way.

WOMAN: ” Are you the teacher?  You look like you know what you’re looking for.”  Ha!  I hardly ever know what I’m doing…I tend to make it up as I go along!

T: ” I just know a little about it.  But, I’m  not the teacher. “  At this point, I knew I was trapped and there was no way I was going to get out of this section, much less this store, without talking to her.

And I felt guilty just as soon as I started thinking of how I could get away.  Because,  God has lain on my heart that I need to realize that the people He puts in my path are the ones He wants me to make a difference to.  Because, I may be the only witness they ever see or the only kindness they ever feel.  And, I have really tried to be mindful of that.  I was reminded of the promises I made.   And, I was ashamed of myself, because even though I was hungry and had a backache and crying feet, she was in a wheel chair.

WOMAN: ” Well, I know what I want to do, but I just can’t figure out how…see I got these stones and they came from my daughter.  She lives in NC,  ’Cept she did manage to find time to come help me during these operations.  She shoulda stayed and took care of me longer, but she left, and me and Coy had to do it all.  If you can believe that!  She’ll call, but she don’t wanna be bothered really.  Coy’s mad at her.  But, she’s got 4 young’uns…what can she do?  Coy did allright…for an old man.”

T:  ”What is it you are wanting to do with your stones?”  I really didn’t want to ask about her ‘operations’.

Woman:  “I got 6 of ‘em and they is really pretty, too.  I wanna wrap ‘em in wire like this.”  (she showed me a package that had a stone wrapped in silver wire)  And, I want to make me a necklace with 4 and then make earrings with 2 of them.  But how can I string them together?  They don’t have holes in them…and I don’t know how to connect them together.  It’s just a puzzle to me.”

T:  ”You need to go up to the register and ask them about classes.  Maybe they have one for jewelry making.”

WOMAN:  ”I done did that.  It was last week.  How do you like that?  I missed it.  MISSED IT BY ONE WEEK!  I was in the hospital having that surgery last week,  so I couldn’t make it.”

T:  ”Wow, you were in the hospital last week and you’re out and about today?  You must be doing well.”

WOMAN:  ”Honey, you just don’t know my husband, his name is Coy.  If he was taking care of you…you’d be getting away, too.”

T:  I laughed…“Well, most men are like that, I think.  They just don’t know what to do when someone is sick.”

WOMAN:  “Coy just gets in my way and makes it worse.  He wants to help, but he just ain’t got it in him!”

T:  ”Well, it was nice of him to bring you here today.”

WOMAN:  “Hey, I been here since 9 this morning. (it was about 3 at that time)  I been up and down every aisle and looked at everything they got.  I don’t know what to do with it…but I know what they got!”

T:  ”It’s a treat for me when I can take my time in a store and go up and down the aisles as slow or fast as I want.  I guess that’s the way you feel, too.”

WOMAN:  ”Coy’s always got something for me to do, so I don’t get much time for myself.  He wants me right with him mostly.”

T:  Well, I hope you get your wire and beads fixed like you want.  Maybe you could take them to a jeweler and have them drilled.”

WOMAN:  ”That would probably cost too much.  And, what if they broke them?  I’d be too upset.”

T: “I guess you’re right.  I think there is a way you can wrap the stones and make connecting links with wire, but I do not know how to do it.”

I wasn’t finding what I need, but spied it hanging further down the aisle…on the other side of her.  And, there was no getting past her.

T:  ”Excuse me just a minute, ma’am.  I’m going to go around this next aisle and come around.  I need to see those jump rings down there.”

WOMAN:  ”Ain’t no need for that.  I can drive this thing.  Give me a minute.”  And, she started shuffling her feet, turning with one hand on the wheel.  BAM! went the Mountain Dew…then BAM! went the oxygen.  (I thought to myself…“This oxygen tank’s gonna explode and I’ll be blown to smithereens and they’ll find pieces of us in paints, and some in jewelry, and some in wood and some in scrapbooking…”)  I offered to pick them up for her, but she said she could get them herself.  And she hoisted herself up and back in her chair and leaned back with all the strength she had.  She reached one and then the other.  One went next to her left hip and one next to her right.  Then she realized her oxygen cording was tangled through her legs and around her waist.

Again I offered to help, but she said she knew how to get it fixed, and she pulled out a pair of scissors and cut that oxygen cording right in two!  Well!  That’s one way!

T:  ”Oh, my.  Now what will you do?  How will you get your oxygen?”  Now, I was having visions of her falling out of the chair, and gasping for breath.  I would not be able to do anything, because she didn’t have any cording.  And, she would lay there, helpless…and I would not be able to do anything but give her Mountain Dew!  ”Maybe you should go ahead and give Coy a call to pick you up.”

WOMAN: ”  Oh, he’ll be here directly.  I just use this stuff when I get winded.  I’ll be fine…I got some more cord at home.”   I didn’t know if she had forgotten about letting me past her, because she began pulling beads off the shelves and matching them to each other.   “Now, these are just too pretty…don’t they look good together?”

T:  “Yes, they really do.” 

WOMAN:  ” I don’t know how much nothin’ costs here.  They ain’t no price tags nowhere.”

So, I showed her how the bags are color coded and where the prices were listed.

WOMAN:  “I’m still moveing outta the way.  Don’t think I forgot or nothin’.

T:  “That’s fine, take your time.  I’m in no hurry.”  And, I wasn’t anymore.  I had decided to let this encounter play out as it would, and see what bit of wisdom I would come away with.  I finally got to the jump rings.  And she was studying some things on the other side of the aisle.

T:  “Let me know if I can reach something for you, “  She thanked me…and the next time I turned around, she had shuffled on out of sight.  Thinking she was gone, I began to make my way to the checkout.  BAM!  I heard the oxygen hit the floor again.  I prayed to get out of that store in one piece!  Then, she came around the end of another aisle near the checkout…as if she had been waiting for me.

WOMAN:  ”I just got to thinking about something my preacher said at church one time.  We are ‘sposed to be ready to talk to everyone we meet.  Cause sometimes God lets people get in our way just so we can talk to them.  You just never know when someone needs you for one thing or another.  I was just thinking about that.”

And, she went  shuffled on past me before I could answer her… down the aisle she was on and I went on to the checkout.  I was waiting in line behind 5 other customers and (like everywhere in this town) only one register was open and yet they had 4 of them!  But as I waited, what she said began tugging at me, and I wondered if there was something I had failed to notice in my hurry.  I wondered if she needed something else and I hadn’t seen it.

I left my place in line and went to look for her where I last saw her.  She wasn’t there.  I looked around that area and didn’t see her anywhere.  She couldn’t have gotten far.  I went down the end aisles looking up each one as I passed.  I could not possible over look her…so I went to the other side of the store.  I could not find her anywhere.  I thought of the restroom, but there was a sign on the door: ‘closed for cleaning’.  I thought maybe she did go to the classroom they have in store, so I checked there.  I didn’t even know what I would say to her if I found her.  I didn’t even really know why I was looking for her.  She wasn’t in the classroom.

And, I never found her.  I asked the one clerk at the register if a lady in a wheelchair had gone by.  She said she hadn’t seen ‘nothin’ but people and more people coming up to this register!’  I don’t know where she went.  I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.  I was kind to her.   What had I missed?  Or did I miss anything at all?  I was kind to her and tried to help her.  But, did she sense my hurry or disinterest?

It is hard to resign yourself to the fact that you may have missed out on an opportunity that God had planned specifically for you.  I don’t know what else I could have or should have done…but I hope and pray that I don’t forget this experience.  We can say we care about people all we want to, but words without actions mean nothing.  I hope I helped her in some small way.  Maybe she just needed someone one to notice her.  I did.  And, I won’t soon forget her.

Here is my sweet Lucy Jane…looking just like a spring flower herself.  Danielle is her aunt.

This is Christy, daughter of Rhonda…Danielle, like-a-second-daughter to Rhonda…Kimberly, daughter in law of Rhonda, and Rhonda

This is June.  She was such a dear friend of my Mom’s, and to me all the years I can remember.  As I am doing Danielle’s wedding, she did my wedding to Don 39 years and 3 months ago.  This is one of the people I hold dearest in my heart of hearts.

This is Susanna.  We have been friends for a very long time.  And, we have wonderful memories of Mission Trips all over the country and the shenanigans that go on after the work is done.  She is currently serving as Children’s Ministry Director at another church in town, but will soon be joining her husband in Birmingham.  He is a pediatrician there, and their 3 children will all be nearby.  Dothan will be a little quieter when she’s all moved in in B’ham…cause wherever Susanna is, there is laughter and nonsense and lots of fun!  I do so love this sweet friend.  Oh, she’d be mad at me if I didn’t mention that she is a former beauty queen, as well!

Somebody was doing some tickling…..

Joy and Susanna paying close attention to something

And, this is Tina.  She is my helper, she is my right hand, she is my partner in crime, and she is the one I can always count on to come to my rescue  when I have bitten off more than I can chew….or committed to something I should have had the good sense not to…or have gotten halfway into a project and decide to stop and start another one.   She gets me.  (AND…she had a birthday yesterday…36, I think).

Trying to figure out exactly what these girls are discussing….interesting body language and expressions…

And, Patty kept trying to escape!  Caught her once out on the front porch holding 3 of our guests captive!

Then she posed with her granddaughter, Addison (my sweet Lucy Jane)…

And, then she began pestering Rhonda…

Danielle and her bridesmaids (minus one) were enjoying the beautiful weather out by the pool.

Sweet friends, dear friends, special children, young and on the verge of marriage…loved ones all.  Old friends, and friends who took a different path, new friends and friends of friends.  Friends whose lives are going just as they wish and friends dealing with problems that have brought them to their knees.  Friends with young children and friends whose children are having children of their own.  And, friends dealing with children making their way through life on unwise paths.  Friends…living the lives that are their own and ours as well…we are all so different and all so alike.  I love having them all at my home…not because of the surroundings…because a house is just that…a house.  What brings the glow, the warmth, the shine to a home are those who walk the floors and sit on the furniture, and stand at the island.  Their laughter ringing throughout fills the air with love and friendship.  Their sweet smiles bounce off the walls and land on others.  And, when they are all gone…and at last, I sit down and reflect on the day…the air is almost alive with happiness and joy.  It lingers…in the house and in my memory.  A good day.  A happy day.  A day of frienship.