JUST THE TINIEST OF RANTS

(To preface this post, you should know that I’ve attempted to wrap 43 Christmas presents for friends and family today.)

I get it.  Every retail store (well almost all) have to price their product.  Fine and well.  They should put the price where it is easily found and easily read.  Some of the higher priced stores have begun putting the tiniest of prices  at the very bottom the product description tag.  Which insures it is always priced….but causes those of us with tired eyes lots of trouble.  If you can find the price…you can’t always make out the numbers.  You know…you’ve seen it…is that a 9 or a 7?  Is that a 3 or a 5?  It’s not fun!  But that’s not even what the rant is about….so that’s just an extra little opinion I’m passing along…no extra charge.

What is driving me up a wall are those big sticky squares that are on all the other products.  You find them on picture frames, glasses, toys, dishes, decorative items, jewelry, food products, shoes, ornaments, mirrors, books, etc.  Almost anything you can name has one.  Which is good, because you can usual see it well.

But, it’s way more bad than good for me.  Ever try to get one of those suckers OFF?  Well, of course you have.  Have you ever in your entire lifetime had one peel off nicely and leave no residue?  Why of course not.  They tear off in strips so you have half the words and the other half glue mess.  Or  the top layer comes off and then you start all over.  I suppose that is why God gave us fingernail to scrape at minute pieces unit they change residence from the item to under our fingernails and then we have to dig them out.  And do that over and over again to get it all off.  Or you can just mark it all out with a Sharpie…which is such a nice addition to your beautifully wrapped gift!

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Use Goo-gone, you say.  The Goo Gone folks say it takes off everything…it does not.  Use Goof Off, you suggest.  Some times it works, mostly does not.  The latest I read on the internet was to rub with Dawn dishwashing liquid and it would just dissolve, pretty as you please.  Don’t buy that one either.  I’ve heard try rubbing alcohol…it takes off the paper, but not the glue.    I’ve heard to use a hairdryer…or even nail polish remover, or WD40.  They perhaps will work if you happen to have the glue they will dissolve.  If you don’t, it’s still a search mission.    Use a knife and you’re libel to slice off a finger!  Here’s one I made up myself…if it is on a solid object like a glass or plate…pull off what you can and then rub a piece of heavy duty duct tape over the remaining glue.  When you pull the tape off, all the glue should come off too.  ‘Should’ being the important word here!  Sometimes it does, other times it doesn’t.  Don’t ever use this idea on something made of paper, like a pretty box you lovingly chose as a gift for someone special.  It could, perhaps, maybe just pull off a big piece of the box the size of the tape.  Never do that! Then you have to go back out in the horrible Christmas traffic to find another gift.

This will cause extreme agitation, let me tell you!  Cause every single driver is on a search and destroy mission to get to a certain store and get a certain gift at a certain price!  They are so certain it is waiting patiently for them there, they do not see anything but the road in front of them.  Their lips are pursed, their eyes are fixed.  You can forget if you are attempting to get out of a parking lot or onto a street.  They will not allow you into that line leading to the goodies.  Don’t even try to ease out slowly in hopes of coaxing them to do a kind deed and allow you into the line.  They are so tuned in they do not even know there are other drivers on the road.  The true fact is …most everybody in that line that stretches all the way from Wiregrass Commons Mall to   Northside Walmart over to Barnes and Noble feels that way!  I’ve seen it for myself and it’s not pretty!   But, I digress…

Have you ever purchased an item with tags like these below?  Been discounted so much, it should be given away!  Beware, though…sticker glue resting upon more sticker glue is double the trouble!  Flee from this sort of aggregation…it is not worth losing your sanity over trying to make a gift presentable to the receiver!

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Occasionally, I will have a moment of unbridled joy when a sticky tag comes off easily.  This doesn’t happen very often.  Very rarely, as a matter of fact.  I’ve only had the experience once or twice in my lifetime.  I think whatever retailer has this type of sticky tags should be honored near and far.  Obviously, they care about the mental health of their customers.

It seems to me that the manufacturers of sticky tags for the world of retail should all get together and choose one type of glue.  One type that will peel off with no residue.  There are many types of glues in the world…bone glue, fish glue, hide glue, hoof glue, albumin glue, casein glue, meat glue, natural resin, coccina, gum arabic, latex, library paste, methyl cellulose, mucilage starch, urea-formaldehyde resin, acetone, hexane, citrus terpenes, ethanol, acrylonitrile, cyanacrylate, acrylic, resorcinol glue, epoxy,polyamide, polyvinyl acetate,polyvinylpyrrolidone, rubber cement….and on and on.  Perhaps some of these I’ve listed are toxic and we don’t want that, of course.  I am not smart enough to understand all the chemical makeup.

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What I am, though, is smart enough to know it has been done…and it can be done again…and retailers can copy each other and use a glue that would make the lives of their customers easier.  Perhaps if we asked the check out clerks to remove all the pricing before bagging our merchandise, we may hear a bigger outcry.

OK…so in the grand scheme of things, this is not a major problem…unless you have a gift to wrap quickly.  Forgive yourself if you think some unkind words about the tag makers of the world…it happens.  Forgive yourselves if you break a nail and some of those words escape your mouth…it happens, too!  Or you can just get a box of generic stickers and slap one over the offending tag residue and leave it to the recipient to wonder why there is a wonky placed sunshine sticker on the bottom left corner of their gift!

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